tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5173636222674304412024-03-18T00:39:14.433-07:00CARPE DIEM MAMAS.......Mad About Writinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17181591284969760340noreply@blogger.comBlogger61125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-517363622267430441.post-40699323374346992252012-02-29T05:33:00.003-08:002012-05-08T16:02:45.185-07:00Scaling the Peaks<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: black; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 5px;">
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<a href="http://thestar.com.my/default.asp" style="color: #003366; text-decoration: underline;">The Star Online</a> > Lifefocus</div>
<newsstory><span class="story_date" style="font-size: 14px; padding-top: 10px;">Sunday February 12, 2012</span><br />
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<span class="story_header" style="font-size: 29px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 36px;">Scaling the peaks</span></div>
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<span class="story_byline"><b>By REBECCA CHIENG SU HEE</b></span></div>
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<b>After the initial flush, it takes essential qualities to anchor a harmonious marriage.</b></div>
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I MARRIED a man with whom I shared many mountain trekking expeditions during our student days. Our adventures together culminated in us trekking down the aisle in 2004, and henceforth, began our own journey of matrimonial highs and lows.</div>
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Over time, I’ve realised that just as stamina, tenacity and determination are crucial in ensuring that trekkers reach the peak of a mountain, several qualities are just as essential in maintaining a harmonious relationship.</div>
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The first of these is mutual appreciation for each other. I think this is terribly understated during one’s initial years together. Even now, this aspect can still be taken up a few notches.</div>
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I remember how acts of service which we rendered to each other during courtship would induce gushes of “oohs, aahs” and “Thank you soooo much, dear!” It’s strange that once we had vowed to serve each other till death do us part, such acts were automatically slotted under the category of “duty”. Instead of thanking each other for the things we did, we made the other feel duty-bound, for example, to provide financially, cook, clean up, fold the laundry ...</div>
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<img alt="" height="400" src="http://starstorage.blob.core.windows.net/archives/2012/2/12/lifefocus/sm_20rebecca.jpg" width="300" /><span class="caption" style="font-size: 13px;">On track: The writer and her husband in Beijing.</span></div>
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Is it any wonder that before long, feelings of being taken for granted crept in?</div>
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Whether or not we’re duty-bound to do such things, every task becomes a labour of love when followed by a hug and a “Thank you”. Somehow, it alleviates the mundaneness of our daily tasks when we know we are needed and that we fill somebody’s void. Appreciation elevates the menial to magnificent.</div>
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Making up after a disagreement is also a crucial element of our marriage.We’ve had our share of disputes and sometimes, our anger with each other has led to week-long “cold wars”. I often joked with my husband that if mere thoughts could eliminate a person, I would have been widowed long ago.</div>
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However, I believe it is the choice we make after the quarrels that determines the path our relationship will take; whether we choose to remain bitter and thereby descend into a bog of contempt for the other person, or to reconcile and love with greater acceptance.</div>
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I remember after one particularly “cold” week; it was so difficult to say “Sorry” and forgive each other. But once we did so, the unpleasantness which had clouded us like a fog lifted and we grew closer to each other. I learned that when forgiveness is hardest to dispense, that is when it is most needed – for both the giver and receiver.</div>
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Good manners make a good couple too. In this aspect, I am still learning from my dear man. In all the time that I’ve known him, he has never been rude or ill-mannered to me or our children. He’s a Chinaman in many ways, but he’s a gentleman. When I return home late in the evening, he will open the door and greet me warmly with a smile. In contrast, several times when he came home, I greeted him with a bag of trash to discard.</div>
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Growing up, we were often taught to put our best foot forward when guests visited. I think such behaviour should not be reserved only for such occasions. If a guest who visits my house temporarily ought to be shown civility, tactfulness and generosity, what more the person I build a home with?</div>
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Finally, for me, minding our language is critical. We grew up in two different households. In one household, members practise debating styles akin to that in the Malaysian Parliament. In another, diplomacy comparable to that in the House of Commons rules conversations.</div>
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Crass language and name-calling certainly have no place in our relationship. However, the tricky part lies not just in what we say, but also how we say it to each other. There is a world of difference in the way a phrase impacts our loved one when we say it either sincerely or sarcastically.</div>
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Winning an argument with indelicate words may secure me a fleeting “victory”, but there is nothing worth gloating about if that only results in my husband’s unhappiness.</div>
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The tongue is a double-edged sword; we can use it to criticise or compliment; to cut another’s heart or carve out a deep affection for each other through endearments and sweet nothings. We should strive to choose the latter.</div>
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Undeniably, the going gets tough from time to time. Nevertheless, the rewards are great, and my reward is seven wonderful years with an exceptional man with whom I look forward to many more years together as we scale greater heights in our marriage. To this man who has loved without reservation, given much without hesitation and cared with immense compassion, I want to say: “I love you Keng Ben Sen.”</div>
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published on 11/2/2012</div>
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link:<a href="http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=%2F2012%2F2%2F12%2Flifefocus%2F10700609&sec=lifefocus#.TzcULQAICIU.facebook"> Scaling the Peaks</a></div>
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Carpe Diem!</div>
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<i>becky</i></div>
© 1995-2012 Star Publications (Malaysia) Bhd (Co No 10894-D)</div>
</div>Mad About Writinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17181591284969760340noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-517363622267430441.post-4597069772445899732011-12-12T07:56:00.000-08:002011-12-12T07:56:10.555-08:00Values and Morals do Matter<div style="color: #333333; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While the PPSMI debate is still ongoing, I would like to touch on another subject in our education system which needs due attention: Moral Education. </span></div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I was a student, I used to think that Moral Education was a waste of time. Even though it was an exam subject in the SPM, I believed then and even now, that a grade in this particular paper does not represent the actual moral standing of a person. Memorizing the 36 'nilai-nilai murni' was just another form of rote learning which had taken up unnecessary space in my brain. </span></span></span></span></div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">However, after a recent trip to China, I do think that perhaps Moral Education is useful after all. Nearly everywhere we went in Beijing, basic courtesy was so lacking. It was so evident in the way that shopkeepers would scold customers who did not buy their wares and in people who shoved us out of the way while queueing without so much as an "Excuse me". Traffic laws were flouted habitually. Honesty was pretty much non-existent. Most tourists who have been to China would attest to the experience of what-you-paid-for-is-not-what-you-thought-you'll-get. Chinese locals spat everywhere they went, even within the marbled floors of a museum! </span></span></span></span></div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span><span><span>After observing the locals' behavior, I concluded that there is no 'moral code' for them to abide by. The damage done since the Cultural Revolution has led to the deficiency of humanitarian values. In the wake of their massive economic growth, the society has become so "ultra-utilitarian that it concerns itself with rich lists, GDP growth and test scores" (Jiang Xueqin, </span></span></span><span><span><span><em>The Diplomat</em></span></span></span><span><span><span>). It is frightening how there's a fake version of everything from Gucci bags to eggs. Human lives have so little value that people would rather compensate a death than extend help and treatment as evidenced from the tragic Wang Yue incident. </span></span></span></span></div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In Malaysia, we are fortunate as we still have our religion and a standard moral guideline through Moral Education in schools. However, we should not rest on our laurels as our society is still grappling with countless social diseases; domestic and child abuse, teen pregnancy, baby dumping, bullying, divorce, corruption… just to name a few. Therefore, while it is good to maintain the subject, the content should be revised and integrated into other areas so that it remains relevant to our children and youths. Apart from that, there has to be a paradigm shift from the obsession with straight A's to character building. We do not want our future society to be so driven by materialistic wealth that values like integrity and altruism are shelved. </span></span></span></span></div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span><span><span>In the words of Martin Luther King Jr. : </span></span></span><span><span><span><em>"The function of education, therefore, is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. But education which stops with efficiency may prove the greatest menace to society. The most dangerous criminal may be the man gifted with reason, but with no morals." </em></span></span></span></span></div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Malaysians can not, should not, MUST not walk down this path</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">.</span></div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;">(published on 11/12/2011) link: <a href="http://thestar.com.my/education/story.asp?file=%2F2011%2F12%2F11%2Feducation%2F10045702&sec=education"><i>Values and Morals do matter</i></a></span></div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;">[the editor edited it to make it 'less offensive']</span></div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;">Carpe Diem, everyone!</span></div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #333333; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;">Becky</span></div>Mad About Writinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17181591284969760340noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-517363622267430441.post-20863106857055652982011-12-06T07:58:00.000-08:002011-12-06T07:58:06.470-08:00The Knight in Rusty Armour<div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
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<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">IS chivalry sexist?” asked Mary Schneider, to which I answer wholeheartedly, “Heavens, NO!” (<i>But Then Again</i>, June 20)</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">If I may take it a step further, should one examine medieval literature, chivalry can be classified under three basic areas: duty to countrymen and fellow Christians, duty to God, and most commonly, duty to women, as addressed in Schneider’s article.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">The last area is also known as courtly love chivalry. During the 11th century, a knight’s duty was to his own lady and after her, all ladies. He was supposed to exhibit a general gentleness and graciousness to all members of the fairer sex.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">Even today, that is not an uncommon expression of affection when one is in courtship. When wooing their lady love, most men would go to great lengths to make her feel special, whether it is by opening the car door for her, carrying her heavy grocery bag or patiently walking with her as she window-shops at her favourite boutique. However, feminists like to argue against it.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">But chivalrous treatment of the lady has been the norm for dating couples. It is very unlikely that a woman will retort fiercely to a man who has just pulled out the chair for her, “You benevolent sexist! I can do that myself! Remember I am your EQUAL!”</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">But what happens after the wedding bells have been rung and marital vows exchanged?</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">Instead of opening the car door for her upon arrival at their destination, the husband closes his own door and walks off. When once they used to walk hand in hand at the shopping mall, the man now strides two or three paces ahead while the woman has to play catch up. Although, to his credit, he does turn back once in a while to ask, “Can’t you walk faster?” Gone are the days when he would window-shop with her. His newspaper is his friend while he sits on the bench and gruffly tells his wife: “Go ahead, let me finish this article...”</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">Maybe not all men become less chivalrous after marriage, but most do slack in their courteous treatment towards their wives. This is from the horse’s mouth, by the way; my own husband would attest to it. If the above does not apply to you, I congratulate you.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">So husbands, why not continue that chivalrous trend even after you’ve already captured your sweet maiden’s heart and hand? After all, surely your wife is still just as deserving, if not more so, of your gracious manners as when she was only your girlfriend. In all honesty, it still does make us feel very special.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">(published 26th June 2011) Link:<i> <a href="http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=%2F2011%2F6%2F26%2Flifefocus%2F8972390&sec=lifefocus">The Knight in Rusty Armour</a></i></div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">Carpe Diem, everyone!</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">Becky</div>Mad About Writinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17181591284969760340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-517363622267430441.post-66174044530079876542011-12-06T07:42:00.000-08:002011-12-06T07:44:50.041-08:00Letter to My Daughters<h3 id="story_date" style="color: #999999; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11px; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><br />
</h3><div id="story_content" style="border-top-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-top-style: dotted; border-top-width: 1px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 15px;"><br />
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><b>What one mother would like her girls to know, just in case God decides to call her home sooner rather than later.</b></div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">MY dear girls,</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">As a financial planner, one overused phrase I always hear and have to repeat is: “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” This pertains to one’s finances, of course. It occurred to me one day, what if I planned my finances well enough for you to inherit all my hard-earned money, but I fail to express my hopes and aspirations for you?</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">Money as a legacy may not last very long, but I hope that as beneficiaries of these heartfelt words of mine, you will always remember my love for you transcends time and death.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;"><b>My beams of sunshine</b></div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">Your papa and I often called you both our “sunshine” the first time you smiled at us as infants. I wanted to be the best mother possible for my babies so I loaded up on flash cards, toys that encouraged the development of your fine motor skills, Mozart CDs (supposedly, they make babies more intelligent).</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">I read up on babies’ and toddlers’ developmental stages. I spent nearly all my free time facilitating your learning experiences when you were older, making sure every moment was constructive to your critical learning years.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">But one day, my dear Rachel, you turned to me and you said, “Mama, why don’t we just play?” It struck me then, that in my haste and enthusiasm to “develop” you, I had taken the joy out of our experience. I was missing out on savouring your growing moments.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">Therefore, Leia, since your elder sister was the guinea pig for most of our parenting “firsts”, I am happy to write that I did not commit the same mistakes with you. So make sure you thank your sister for it.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;"><b>Bulldogs’ cheeks and flabby arms</b></div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">If laughter is the best medicine, then children are the ultimate elixir!</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">I have lost count of the times when your innocent banter sent me into stitches and, not a few times, into speechlessness. Like the time when Rachel stretched my left arm out and said “Mummy, look! Bulldogs’ cheeks are like that! Puh-lop, puh-lop, puh-lop ...,” while flapping the loose skin under my upper arm.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">Or when playing Simon Says, Leia, you weren’t even two and you did EVERYTHING your sister instructed, including “Simon says pick your nose ...!”</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">The point here is, find humour in everything you do and in everyone you meet. For there will be times when you may meet a dead end or encounter unpleasantness in some people.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">Humour has a wonderful way of clearing up muddled situations that tempers can’t.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">So laugh a lot and laugh hard, laugh till your tears roll down your cheeks and your sides hurt. All those endorphins will do you good.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">If all else fails, I find that watching a YouTube video of Phua Chu Kang often helps ...</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;"><b>To infinity and beyond!</b></div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">My dear girls, when I gaze into your bright eyes, I believe that both of you can be GREAT. You are incredibly intelligent (your papa would say you inherited his brain). Whatever your dreams may be, reach for them, and reach high.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">Never let a jealous schoolmate, or a frustrated teacher having a bad day, or even a family member tell you that there are things you cannot do (except for taking drugs, drinking, gambling – you know the drill!).</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">Life is too full of mediocre people telling the extraordinary ones what can’t be done. Never mind what can’t be done. It is your business to decide what can be done. Period.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;"><b>Who will be your Prince Charming?</b></div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">I may not be around by this time, but I have to have a say on my future sons-in-law. (However, if you choose to remain single, feel free to skip this part.)</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">My precious ones, when it comes to matters of the heart, girls must not let them go to their heads. Always conduct yourselves in such a manner that no man would dare dishonour you. You must consciously decide whom you will love. Love a man who is worthy of you and one who appreciates you.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">Of course, if I have to break it down to specifics, I would probably say look to your father as a fine example of a man who is not flawless but always loving, helpful and respectful towards women.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">One thing you must understand about your mama’s heart – you will always be my cherished little ones. So it is my hope that the men both of you eventually choose as your soulmates will treasure you even more. But if they don’t, you can be sure I’ll return to haunt their miserable, wretched lives for a long, looooong time.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;"><b>And, finally</b></div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">When I ponder the miracle of my two beautiful girls, I can’t help feeling as Maria and the Captain did in <i>The Sound Of Music</i>: “For here you are, standing there, loving me, whether or not you should. So somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must have done something good.”</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">Dear ones, with every hug, in every kiss, every time you say “Mama, you are the best mummy!”, with every letter or card you’ve written, and with every picture you’ve drawn of “beautiful mama”, I thank God for rewarding me for that something good I must have done in the past with my two lovely angels.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">I love you both so much.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">(published: 12th June 2011) Link: <a href="http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=%2F2011%2F6%2F12%2Flifefocus%2F8838733&sec=lifefocus#.TfQOkgQ3sac;facebook"><i>Letter to My Daughters</i></a></div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">Carpe Diem, everyone!</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">Becky</div></div>Mad About Writinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17181591284969760340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-517363622267430441.post-36276228395314102272011-12-06T07:35:00.000-08:002011-12-06T07:35:53.782-08:00Thin Does Not Mean PrettyDear Visitors to Carpe Diem Mamas,<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">During my hiatus from blogging, I have gone mainstream and have been writing on a regular basis to our national (Malaysian) newspaper, The Star, on various issues I feel strongly about. (Oh yes, just in case you're wondering if I get paid doing it, cos everybody keeps asking me that, -----I don't, as I'm not a columnist. It's just another platform for me to express my views.) I will be putting selected published articles here on the blog to share with all of you. Feel free to give your feedback.... unless it's derogatory or unkind, in which case I'll just spam you. Apart from that, you're most welcome to share your thoughts!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;"></span></div><h1 id="story_title" style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 29px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 36px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 35px; padding-top: 0px;">Thin does not mean pretty</h1><h2 id="story_byline" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11px; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"></h2><div id="story_content" style="border-top-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-top-style: dotted; border-top-width: 1px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 15px;"><br />
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">I APPRECIATE Mary Schneider’s article, <i>Fill her up!</i>, especially the last line: “If only some parents would stop focusing so much on their children’s physical attributes, we’d have a lot more healthier adults on this planet.”</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">I have two daughters. The older, now six, was a beautiful, chubby baby and she retained her baby fat for a while.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">However, due to swimming and dance lessons (which she loves, by the way), she gained some height and muscle tone.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">It never occurred to me to do all this to make her “thinner” as I believe very much in making exercise a lifestyle.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">What irked me though were parents (incidentally, more mothers than fathers) who came up to her and said, “Wow, you look so pretty now! So slim!”</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">I was aghast by that statement.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Firstly, I have been spending a lot of time telling my daughter that beauty is not dependent on how thin she is, but rather, her beauty should radiate from within, through her kindness, confidence and health.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">I even highlighted the problem of anorexia nervosa in some girls who are obsessed with being thin, to the detriment of their own well-being.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Secondly, I have also been explaining to her that beauty comes in many forms, not just a particular shape, height or colour.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">It broke my heart when she sometimes came up to me and told me her friend called her fat and that she didn’t think she is pretty.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Although I cannot control what other people say to my daughter, I hope that parents (especially mothers) will accept and appreciate the fact that their children do not have to adhere to Hollywood standards of superficial attractiveness to be beautiful.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">(published 29th May, 2011) <i><a href="http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=%2F2011%2F5%2F29%2Flifefocus%2F8766699&sec=lifefocus">Thin does not mean pretty</a></i></div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Carpe Diem, everyone!</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Becky</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div>Mad About Writinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17181591284969760340noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-517363622267430441.post-20815503088416755232011-06-28T09:04:00.000-07:002011-06-28T09:04:46.440-07:00Man Talk - Victor<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Name: Victor</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Location: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Age: 31 years old</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Married for 6 years</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>1) An Anonymous asked "..is contributing to the community more important than contributing to your infant son?.." (Man Talk - Ah Keong).</strong></span></em></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bringing up our children will directly contribute to humanity, on a smaller scale, to our country, our state, our city and our neigbourhood. A person with good principle/ethics/values/character walking on the street is definitely better compared to walking in the streets with 'wolves'.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A strong/healthy country consist of a strong/healthy family. Family is made out of individual, and community is made out of groups of individuals/families. So in reality, contributing to our children is contributing to the community around us. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Brief summary, regardless, our contribution to the 'community' or to our children we are contributing to our community. Which is more important? That's your pick!</span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><em>2) Ah Keong stated that men have no right to balance their lifestyle until they can balance their family cheque book. Do you agree/disagree with him and why?</em></strong></span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've some questions for Ah Keong:</span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">a) I would like to know why does he think that the family cheque book needs to be balanced before he gets his own lifestyle balanced?</span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">b) Where did he get the notion that only man have the responsibility to balance their family cheque book? Answer honestly.</span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">c) At what figure (RM/USD ???) is considered, "balanced family cheque book"?</span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">d) What is a balanced lifestyle?</span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">e) What are your priorities in life? How much time do you spend based on your priorities? Does the time spent tally with your priorities? E.g. My priority is Family, Work, and Hobby. I spent 1 hour for family, 12 hours at work, and none for my hobby. Does it tally?</span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At this point, many will think that I'm attacking Ah Keong. I'm not, the questions is meant to trigger some soul searching. Some may feel angry, some will say, "I've not thought about it before" and some would 'just' read, period :-D. If we were to ask these same questions to 10 different men, most of them would answer differently.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To start with, we are not immortal, as time passes so does our youth, as time passes so does our opportunities. This may read as, work harder! Yea, right! Please don't jump the gun too soon, this applies to our entire life, including those that we missed out spending with our family. Balance is always read out as 50% this and 50% that, 50:50 la.. </span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I would like to differ in opinion. Have you every played tug of war? The games require two teams. A center line is drawn, an additional one line is marked 4 meters distance from the center line at each direction, a red ribbon is tied in the center of the rope and lastly a blue ribbon is tied about 15ft from the red ribbon at each direction. Two teams on the opposite site, when the whistle is blown, the games start! The goal: the first team that is able to pull the opposite blue ribbon across the center line wins! Balance is like Tug of War, it is rarely 50%:50%. Each side of the rope has tension, the strongest at any point of time will bring the rope out from the center line (red ribbon moving left and right from the center line). So, balance is like Tug of War, at different season/time there is different priority that need attention but it does not mean we abandoned another, its at a different percent all the time. One item does differ though, we should never allow the blue ribbon to reach as close to the center line (or blue ribbon crosses the center line), if it does, that is the signal of extreme in life. So here is my 2 cents, always try to stay as center as possible, the tension at both ends is necessary to keep the check and balance.</span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Men work to kill time, while time quietly kills them.</span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><strong><em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3) </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times - always with the same person." (Mignon Mclaughlin). Based on your own personal experience, is it possible for the above to happen?</span></em></strong></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Each day passes, I discover something new about my wife. Ok.. maybe not day... sometimes weeks, months, sometimes years. And each day passes, I discover that I love her differently as a friend, companion and lover. Does that count? In our first year of our marriage, my wife cooked for me, I LOVE that. I never required my wife to cook! She cooked because her mother does it to make the family happy! She just followed suit.. Recently, in our fifth year of our marriage, we started to learn how to joke about some serious situations, we've got lots to learns in this area, and I LOVE her for it! Does that count?</span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've not read anything written by Mignon Mclaughlin, I've no idea what she is talking about. I'll try to get the context right before I provide further comment. FYI, it takes years for me to read any book! Good luck waiting...</span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><em><strong><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4) W</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">hat is the most challenging aspect of being a father?</span></strong></em></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Taking care and pouring more LOVE to my wife! I always remind myself not to neglect my wife. It is so easy to put all my energy to my son but I always remind myself, DON"T neglect my best friend, my wife! Some will ask why.. its because a good wife is God given, two souls tied together as one, my son however, our souls are not tied together..</span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My wife and I will always be one, but not with my son, that is what I believe... My son will grow up and leave, have his own family. My wife, we will grow old together. The covenant between a hushband and wife is different from that of parents and child. And also, I've discovered that, if I love my wife more, naturally, I'll love my son more. But if I 'love' my son more, I may overlook my wife's needs. It also means, I do not neglect anyone, if I love my wife first.</span></div></div>Mad About Writinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17181591284969760340noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-517363622267430441.post-74578774148211456682011-06-28T08:21:00.000-07:002011-06-28T08:23:17.584-07:00Such "Pain in the Butt"!<div style="text-align: justify;">Well, to be more specific.... a terrible, terrible itch in the butt.. or rather, even more specifically......in the anus.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Yes, it doesn't sound pretty but I was wondering what happened when my daughter was crying incessantly about her 'bottom being itchy'... At first, I thought maybe she didn't clean herself well, then I thought maybe she was just attention-seeking.. but when it got worse - she would frequently cry and throw herself on the floor while kicking her legs - I decided that it must be a genuine problem. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">There were no marks on her bottom or in the areas surrounding her anus as I suspected it might have been a rash or infection or something. So, I decided to consult some experienced mothers (always the first step before before deciding whether to blow my savings on the doctors). Most immediately replied "Oh, she has worms!"</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Like eeewww, right? How do you know anyway? Apparently, what happens is that sometimes due to the food we take , we might have contracted these unwanted guests in our guts and some could have migrated waaaaaay south, therefore causing a lot of discomfort to us or our young ones. Personally, I have not experienced it before so I can't speak for myself. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">But since my daughter was in such major discomfort, I consulted the pharmacist for some remedy that might help. They recommended Zentel.</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="http://gsk.com.my/images/healthcare-zentel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" i$="true" src="http://gsk.com.my/images/healthcare-zentel.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: justify;">I gave it to her according to the dosage stated and practically, waited with great anticipation to see if it worked. </div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: justify;">And you know what? It did...</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: justify;">She never cried about "itchy bottom" again and was happy as a lark...and I felt so relieved until I thought :</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: justify;">"Oh my gosh, what if <strong><span style="font-size: large;">I</span></strong> have a tapeworm swimming inside me?" If you think about it, my girl is only 6 and she contracted a 'worm'... I am now 33 and have ingested a whole lot more crap into my system than she has. </div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: justify;">Maybe we adults should also think about deworming ourselves too.... Ewww....</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: justify;">Carpe Diem!</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: justify;">Becky</div>Mad About Writinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17181591284969760340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-517363622267430441.post-60419513611419431512011-01-10T08:05:00.000-08:002011-01-10T08:09:47.672-08:00HAPPY 2011!<div style="text-align: justify;">Dear all, </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Happy 2011 to all of you! Hope you're off to a great start! I have been quite busy so I read some of the comments from new visitors only recently. Thank you for visiting and for your interest in Carpe Diem Mamas.. Hope you've found the information helpful!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">And now, a little inspiring poem to start off the year ! I think this is a good reminder and useful to apply whether at home or work, whether we think of our roles as parents, friends, rivals, acquaintances, colleagues...etc to people around us. No man/woman is an island and it is only too true that the world is a mirror of our own attitude towards it. So, I hope this will brighten your day and have a good year ahead....</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxIViLm-LYA_sgu4rI_X8q-gwsTtV0spA9rTQ7C5HlHcBoksp5dfCkfc6cWB5Zpxun_ShdHNqcx8xmIVV4J1wSbMrZgQOKCL6XDul9Obl7WWek9K5Fy7CBc1Ir7-bnj5ziTfw0ojziCmg/s1600/I+promise+myself.edtd.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxIViLm-LYA_sgu4rI_X8q-gwsTtV0spA9rTQ7C5HlHcBoksp5dfCkfc6cWB5Zpxun_ShdHNqcx8xmIVV4J1wSbMrZgQOKCL6XDul9Obl7WWek9K5Fy7CBc1Ir7-bnj5ziTfw0ojziCmg/s640/I+promise+myself.edtd.jpg" width="496" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
<em>Carpe Diem</em>, everyone!</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Becky</div>Mad About Writinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17181591284969760340noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-517363622267430441.post-33529561091468654372010-11-10T21:38:00.000-08:002010-11-10T21:42:20.634-08:00Wine and Confinement -- To take or not to take?<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;">Contribution by laifchan:</span></span></i></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;">Was doing some reading about this issue and found 2 recent helpful articles written by Chinese researchers.</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;">Here's a summary of my own thoughts and conclusions.</span></span></span></div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;">Out of the many traditions during confinement, taking red rice wine chicken soup is one that is held to dearly for a few reasons:</span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;">1. Its delicious :)</span></span></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;">2. Claims of improving the mother's health ie prevents arthritis, balances the hot-cold thingy, improves strenght etc (not going to dispute it but lets just say so far no scientific evidence)</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</span></span></div></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://blog.emilyminor.com/uploaded_images/WinewithPrice-795446.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="289" src="http://blog.emilyminor.com/uploaded_images/WinewithPrice-795446.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;">However, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: yellow;">there have been countless research showing detrimental effects of alcohol on babies development</span> (of course, a limitation is that most studies don't track children's development into adulthood).</span></span></span></div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;">The question is, does taking red rice wine chicken soup cause significant amounts of alcohol into breastmilk and cause negative effects in babies?</span></span></span></div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;">Well, anecdotally (meaning hearsay), Chinese women have been practicing these tradition for eons and have produced "bright" children who have grown up to be 'successful' adults. However, stories without examining the multiple factors that may influence how children turn out to be 'smart' may be misleading.</span></span></span></div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;">Also, there is a belief that the alcohol content in red rice wine chicken soup is negligible. This myth is challenged in 1 of the attached articles which showed that <span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: yellow;">after less than 3 hrs after taking normal amounts of this soup, there IS still alcohol in the milk that can cause significant changes to the composition of breastmilk (less nutrients) and can decrease milk production.</span></span></span></span></div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;">Also, although Chinese women do breastfeed during confinement while taking red rice wine chicken soup, not many breastfeed exclusively but end up supplementing with formula milk even within the 1st mth, so the babies maybe less exposed to the negative consequences of alcohol.</span></span></span></div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisOvPb4zw-F9FTraaCtTxmO7sOC9wlSqG8n_6aI2qEvPkzI8Xn_l9IplHwJ44B5fNp4nJLcLomViFVnbj0TzSYxqu3NQ3G7lR2jwMSLOVbvXMi5jmOcmqpFUnBMjsqMMzgqOMrttPfBQ4/s400/IMG_1404+copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisOvPb4zw-F9FTraaCtTxmO7sOC9wlSqG8n_6aI2qEvPkzI8Xn_l9IplHwJ44B5fNp4nJLcLomViFVnbj0TzSYxqu3NQ3G7lR2jwMSLOVbvXMi5jmOcmqpFUnBMjsqMMzgqOMrttPfBQ4/s320/IMG_1404+copy.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;">Given the many proven benefits of exculsively breastfeeding for at least 6 mths ie better immunity in babies, what options do mothers have if they still want to take red rice wine soup while exclusively breastfeeding?</span></span></span></div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;">Well, I guess it should be done in <span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: yellow;">moderation and breastfeeding timed to be at least 3 hrs after consumption of this soup.</span></span></span></span></div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;">For myself, a practical thing to do is:</span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;">1.<b>limit any form of alcohol to just this soup</b> (personal reasons coz i find it delicious, not for any health benefits, and don't like taking any other form of alcohol ie DOM etc)</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</span></span></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;">2. Take it during dinner <b>after</b> i've expressed milk for my baby's night-feeds<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"> </span></span></span></div></span><br />
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px; margin-left: 40px; text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;">-this way, it would be at least a good <b>8 hrs</b> before i nurse my baby after the soup and this will probably mitigate any effects of the alcohol</span></span></div><div style="margin-left: 40px;"><div style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px; text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;">-couldn't do it for Jason as he seemed to be perpetually stuck to my breasts and left me no time to express, so I didn't take any soup, anyway <b>he had jaundice so all the more reason not to take any alcohol (didn't want to overwork his tiny liver)</b></span></span></div><div style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px; text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;">- another advantage of giving the baby expressed milk at night is somebody else (husbands/confnement lady) can help feed the baby while the mother is able to rest</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</span></span></span></div></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;">Any other ideas or comments, people?</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;">More on : <a href="https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&pid=gmail&attid=0.1&thid=12c38de51dbb3acc&mt=application/pdf&url=https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui%3D2%26ik%3D1"><b>Doing the 'Confinement Month'</b></a></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b> <a href="https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&pid=gmail&attid=0.1&thid=12c38de51dbb3acc&mt=application/pdf&url=https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui%3D2%26ik%3D1"> Consumption of Alcoholic Soup during Confinement Month</a></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;">Thank you, laifchan!!!</span></span></span></div>Mad About Writinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17181591284969760340noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-517363622267430441.post-30838501563788984152010-10-06T17:46:00.000-07:002010-10-06T17:57:01.172-07:00A Personal NoteDear Friends,<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"> The blog has been in status quo for awhile now. That's because I've taken on a few commitments among which include a study course, training teachers, an NGO voluntary work, swimming classes besides balancing with work and family. So, quite a few things to colour my life and I'm loving every minute of it! </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"> Therefore, I decided to continue updating the blog on an <em>as & when</em> basis. If you'd like to contribute please let me know. I'm also looking for a co-author of the mama blog as well. So do inform me if you're interested. :)</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"> Thank you for being faithful followers and readers of Carpe Diem Mama. Continue to be the great mamas & papas you all are!!! </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><em>Carpe Diem</em>, everyone!</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Becky</div>Mad About Writinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17181591284969760340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-517363622267430441.post-25878010337227323822010-09-20T23:40:00.000-07:002010-09-20T06:16:08.534-07:00Doc. Dilemma<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There are some situations which can cause a lot of marital conflicts and personal dilemma. But none, I think, as distressing as when it concerns our children's health and medical well-being.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://whitewraithe.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/chinese-sick-child.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="135" qx="true" src="http://whitewraithe.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/chinese-sick-child.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana;">It could be an accident, high fever or a diarrhoea that's been running for days. More often than not, one spouse would be more anxious than the other in seeking medical attention.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana;">Spouse #1: Oh no, something's not right with Tommy.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana;">Spouse #2: <span style="color: blue;">He looks fine to me.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana;">Spouse #1: I think we better bring him to a doctor.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana;">Spouse #2: <span style="color: blue;">You're over reacting.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana;">Spouse #1: Don't you care about our child? Must he be bed-ridden before you do something?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana;">Spouse #2: <span style="color: blue;">It'll be a waste of money. The doctor will say he's fine and prescribe him medicine which you throw away anyway.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana;">Spouse #1: You're heartless! What if it's something serious which could have been prevented?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana;">Spouse #2: <span style="color: blue;">I still say you're over reacting..I don't give doctors free money.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana;">Familiar?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana;">This is further exacerbated by the fact that there doesn't seem to be a standard medical practice. One doctor prescribes one treatment which can be refuted by another doctor. The patients might have to seek a few opinions to confirm the first one at the expense of our pockets and children's welfare. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana;">For instance, a friend's son had a prolonged stomach pain. They consulted a paediatrician who immediately admitted him (after asking if they had a medical card) and prescribed a cocktail of drugs for the little boy. When his condition was not improving, they decided to consult a second paedtrician who told them the drugs were unnecessary. He prescribed only one type of medicine which the boy took and recovered speedily after that. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana;"><em><strong>My Dilemma</strong></em></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana;">In my case, when I sought a second opinion (<a href="http://carpediembecky.blogspot.com/2010/09/thud-my-baby-fell.html">Thud! My Baby Fell!</a>) the paediatrician advised X-Ray on the fourth day after my baby's fall to ensure there was no fracture. I complied after I asked him if there will be any side effects from the rays to which he replied there was nothing to worry about.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana;">My husband blew his top when he found out I allowed our child to be X-rayed. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana;">"YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO LISTEN TO THE DOCTOR!!!" he said.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">How was I supposed to know better? Google!!?</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/rmo0421l.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" qx="true" src="http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/rmo0421l.jpg" width="254" /></a></div><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anyway, easier said than done.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When you present your sick/injured child to a doctor and he/she paints you the <strong>worst case </strong>scenario e.g. she might develop bronchitis/the high fever could affect his brain/the fall could have caused internal injury...etc and they recommend a treatment (usually a very costly one) followed by "But it's your choice of course." .... How easy is it for any responsible parent to just say "Nah, I'll take a gamble.. maybe it's not so bad.."...???</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong><em>Unnecessary X-Ray</em></strong></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Having said that, when I checked with another doctor and friends in medical related jobs, I was told that if a child shows no abnormal symptoms and since it was already 4 days, there should be no cause for concern. But even if there <strong>was</strong> a hairline fracture on the skull, nothing can be done about it. So, usually doctors let the fracture heal by themselves. Also, X-rays are usually recommended only when it's really, really necessary as <span style="background-color: yellow;">X-rays can stunt children's growth and development albeit in large doses.</span> <strong>[</strong></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><strong>See : </strong><a href="http://www.mahalo.com/answers/are-x-rays-harmful-to-children"><strong>Are X-Rays harmful to children?]</strong></a></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana;">The words "annoyed, miffed, angry, betrayed" were not sufficient to even begin describing my inner turmoil then. It's one thing if I have to pay more for the recommended treatment/test (which I mind less), it's another thing if that treatment/test may have an adverse effect on my child. Surely, if the doctor had firmly said my child was alright without X-Ray, I would not have opted for it. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana;"><em><strong>Choices, choices, choices....</strong></em></span><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana;">One can choose of course to go to general hospital where it is more economical and doctors are not profit-oriented. The treatment may not be inferior to that of private hospitals'. Of course, the downside is that the queue may be super-long and more often than not, the patient will be sent from one counter to another to register, to wait, to pay...etc.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana;">OR, consult doctor friends and experienced parents to get corroborating information on a medical condition and prescribed treatment before giving it the green light.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana;"><strong><em>Conclusion and Appreciation</em></strong></span><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana;">At the end of the day, we parents just want the best for our children and that includes healthcare. Usually, parents who can afford it don't mind paying for immediate and the best medical attention. But really, it's another story altogether when doctors cash in on patients' illnesses by prescribing unnecessary and costly scans or treatments which may also have adverse effects on the patients. </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicpQiZZ3A1YyhRi2RkeYDIb_6WazLj0IaPOYQaIXlRVHf9ZU7-MVyQKKXHoKMlQYWGCIGWgHOdVokQk3Onta330AMoQFvC1bMeS6c3qIkt9jtW5cM28CvP_yOJjKGlEFrar5QbV3oI8Gw/s400/doctor_credit_rating_481295.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" qx="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicpQiZZ3A1YyhRi2RkeYDIb_6WazLj0IaPOYQaIXlRVHf9ZU7-MVyQKKXHoKMlQYWGCIGWgHOdVokQk3Onta330AMoQFvC1bMeS6c3qIkt9jtW5cM28CvP_yOJjKGlEFrar5QbV3oI8Gw/s200/doctor_credit_rating_481295.jpg" width="142" /></a></div><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana;">Therefore, I raise my hat off to doctors who genuinely care for their patients' well-being, whether in private or public practice. It's not easy working long hours, being sleep-deprived, having to entertain difficult patients and remaining professional at all times. So, my appreciation goes out to you, good doctors..</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>Perhaps some good doctors or experienced parents can advise on the best course of action to take in the event of a medical situation involving kids?</em></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><em>Carpe Diem</em>, ladies!</span><br />
<span style="color: #660000;">Becky</span></div>Mad About Writinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17181591284969760340noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-517363622267430441.post-17886780190587439902010-09-16T00:00:00.000-07:002010-09-15T16:03:42.689-07:00Man Talk - Ah Keong<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Name: Ah Keong</span><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Location: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia</span><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Age: 33 </span><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Married for 3.5 years.</span><br />
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<div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
<strong><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>1) How do you strike a balance between work and your family life?</em></span></strong></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I think if you can't balance your family cheque book you have no right to balance your lifestyle. First, make enough money to give your wife an option to stay home to take care of your children if she wishes to. If you can do that, now we can talk about balancing lifestyle. I work 5 full days a week- meaning around 12-14 hours a day. But my Saturdays and Sundays are for my family. Whenever I can I bring my family overseas for 10 days holiday. Just did Europe and Australia this year with my in-laws, parents, wife and children. So I think the quality of time spent with your family is more important than quantity. If your wife keeps complaining about not enough money for the household, step up boys... Time to be a man, and take good care of the income. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><span style="color: #660000;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><em>2) An Anonymous under 'Five Love Languages' commented that women nag their husbands because of the "failure on man's part to listen CAREFULLY and ATTENTIVELY..no joke.." . What's your take on that since it's a common occurrence for women to 'nag' their husbands? (apparently, due to the common occurrence that men don't listen..)</em></strong></span></span></div><div align="justify"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Totally agree on the quote. Yes, wives nag because men don't listen. Totally true. I'm that kind of man that can't do 2 things simultaneously. So sometimes I can hear what she is mumbling but can't understand the meaning. That's where all the argument starts. So now I learnt my lesson, when your wife talks, stop and listen. Ask again if you don't understand. If you easily forget put it down in your smartphone or notebook. Can't afford a week of silence just because we men don't listen. </span></div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><span style="color: #660000;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">3) <strong><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>"Don't marry the person you think you can live with, marry the individual you think you can't live without." (James C. Dobson). Do you agree with the statement? Why?</em></span></strong></span></span></div><div align="justify"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong></strong></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I think it's true half way. "Crazily in love" only lasts maybe 6 months. But true love lasts a lifetime. If at that moment you feel you can't live without him... Hey, that feeling is gonna last 6 months max. But if you can live with his imperfectness, his beer belly, spare tyres, dirty laundry and nose picking then, as long as he loves you, willing to take care of you spiritually, financially, physically AND most importantly, accept you for who you are... Hey, that guy is worth marrying. No point marrying a guy who, for the first 6 months makes you crazy about him and then, the next 60 years gives you hell!</span></div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
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</div><span style="color: #660000;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>4) <em>What are the three things which you appreciate MOST about your wife?</em></strong></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My lovely wife has loads of good values. <strong>Firstly</strong>, I think she trusts me a lot. In my work, I need to spend time with ladies- clients and agents nearly everyday. Most of the time, 1 to 1. Yet, she doesn't question my whereabouts and who I'm meeting. I hold myself well enough to fend off naughty girls. So it's a win-win situation. And ladies, husbands hate it when you are being suspicious all the time. It feels like the income tax breathing down your neck every night. And please, if your husband wants to cheat, he can do it in a tree or in a cupboard. So trust him. If you cant trust him don't marry him. <strong>Secondly</strong>, she takes care of our babies very, very well. Full of motherly love. She hardly nags now, because I listen. She is amazingly cheap to maintain for a lady with good taste in fashion and style. And <strong>finally</strong>, she is a doctor. So what more can a man ask for, when your wife posseses all those qualities and yet, she's a doctor! She is never, never fat. She is still beautifully slim after our babies.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That's it... Thanks for letting me share.</span></div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><em><span style="color: #660000;">Appreciation: Thanks, Ah Keong, for sharing with us!</span></em></div>Mad About Writinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17181591284969760340noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-517363622267430441.post-57995631256526161742010-09-12T19:44:00.000-07:002010-09-22T01:10:44.547-07:00THUD!!! My Baby Fell!!!<div style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-align: justify;">You heard that sickening sound and your stomach muscles started to contract... too late, the wailing rose to a crescendo.</div><div style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-align: justify;">Your baby just fell off the bed/cot/high chair/couch/steps/table/staircase.....</div><div style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-align: justify;">We told ourselves that we'd be really quick, baby should be quite safe. He isn't rolling that far yet or she can sit still for two seconds (what were we thinking?) or the cot is low enough to prevent him from falling off the sides. </div><div style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But, the next second after it happened, we felt terribly lousy about ourselves... and I mean the<i> "my-baby-is-going-to-die-it's-all-my-fault-and-I-don't-deserve-to-be-a-mom/dad"</i> kind of lousy. </span></div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-align: justify;">What happened recently..........</div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b>Monday</b></div><div style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-align: justify;">My baby fell off the high chair. She must have landed on her head as I could feel a huge bump on the left side of her head. However, minutes later, she was her usual self again, playing and laughing away.</div><div style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b>Tuesday</b></div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Everything was normal. No vomiting. No fainting or signs of unconsciousness. She was perfectly normal. By night time however, I felt a <span style="background-color: yellow;">soft, spongy lump on her head where the hard bump used to be.</span> My heart sank. Did the skull crack? Did the brain fluid leak out? In full panic mode, I rushed her to the emergency unit of a nearby hospital. The medical officer in charge asked how long had it been since she fell. I told him more than 24 hours already. </span></div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"Oh," he said. "No fainting? No vomiting? No blood? Nothing? Everything normal? She's active? Yes? You can go home then." </span></div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I was going "But what about this soft lump here? What is this?!"</span> </div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">He then casually replied it was nothing to worry about. </span></div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"Why??!! This is not normal!" I said.</span></div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"Our brain is very vascular so that lump is just clotted blood since some blood vessels burst. But it's not internal since she's ok. Children's bones are very flexible so they don't break so easily unlike adults and they recover very fast too. I can put a needle in to take out the blood (gasp!) , but if you don't want, just give it two or three weeks or so, the lump will disappear.... and I think, now you can also disappear!" He said with a smile.</span></div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I was relieved. My baby won't have brain damage. </span></div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wednesday</span></b></div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Baby was fine and her usual self. Mummy was feeling better but by evening, started to think that a second opinion was probably a good idea ----- just in case.</span></div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thursday</span></b></div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I brought her to see the pediatrician of the said nearby hospital again. While he concurred what the medical officer said earlier, he advised X-ray to ensure there are no fractures in the skull.... which I obediently complied. The results reassured me further that there really was nothing to worry about.</span></div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What the doctor said:</span></b></div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If there's a fall, the next 5 - 6 hours are crucial. We have to ensure the baby/toddler/child doesn't fall asleep. Observe signs of vomiting (indication of internal injury), unconsciousness... any abnormality. After 24 hours, if all is well, there shouldn't be anything to worry about. </span></div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What is that soft, spongy lump?</span></b></div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As the medical officer elaborated, just burst blood vessels which is superficial, the medical term being <a href="http://www.medicinenet.com/hematoma/article.htm"><strong>hematoma.</strong></a></span></div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A few mothers I talked to had similar experiences e.g. baby falling off cot, daddy's clutches, bed.... so it's a common enough phenomenon for most parents to identify with. In fact, one more extreme case I got to know of was a 5 year old child falling from the second floor of a double storey house... through the window! Miraculously (and I mean, really! DIVINE!), the child was unharmed except for a few scratches..</span></div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So, I'm sharing this to hopefully, console parents who have experienced something similar. We do our best, but accidents do happen. </span></div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For parents who have yet to experience this ( and I hope you never have to), take all the necessary preventive and precautionary measures. One can't be too careful when it comes to children. We like to think we're supermums/dads but the fact is, our reflexes aren't as lightning quick as theirs.</span></div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But if something should happen, always consult your doctor...because we can <i>trust</i> that doctors know best, right? <i>Right?</i> (more to come in Doc. Dilemma-after Man Talk)</span></div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Carpe Diem</span></i>, ladies!</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #660000;">Becky</span></span></div>Mad About Writinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17181591284969760340noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-517363622267430441.post-85542165861614114422010-09-03T09:08:00.000-07:002010-09-13T08:35:21.339-07:00Man Talk - Ben<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1ThI-dIzbFHKVUfoEAxQaWHeNR6I1asXrIc-pfZ9aCW8rXxs619QJfBphODUxSstHFytI6v_sb0ALOMBZedlmfqJh2uVeqoanRInj4GhfFboiCfmD5CARDSCw38Wohwk_edoxHFSfDko/s1600/bensenfb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1ThI-dIzbFHKVUfoEAxQaWHeNR6I1asXrIc-pfZ9aCW8rXxs619QJfBphODUxSstHFytI6v_sb0ALOMBZedlmfqJh2uVeqoanRInj4GhfFboiCfmD5CARDSCw38Wohwk_edoxHFSfDko/s200/bensenfb.jpg" width="162" /></a><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="color: #660000;"> </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="color: #660000;">Name: Ben</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><div class="im"><span style="font-size: small;">Location: Kuching, Malaysia</span></div><div class="im"><span style="font-size: small;">Age: 32 </span></div><div class="im"><span style="font-size: small;">Married for 6 years.</span></div><div class="im"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">1) <b><i>What aspect of your marriage do you find most challenging and which aspect, most endearing?</i></b></span><br />
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</span></div><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Ben:</b> I find the differences in values and habits as most challenging. Each of us holds different sets of values and habits and once we got married and started living under one roof, suddenly the differences that we once cherished as unique became the cause of frictions. For example, family bond is of utmost importance to me, and this includes relatives. I want to visit my family members & relatives as often as possible and want my children to develop close ties with them. My wife, on the other hand, thinks differently. She prefers to focus on our nucleus family. </span></div><div style="color: #660000;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Most endearing is to know that marriage means having a close confidante. My wife listens to me, she is my reflection, my solace, my pride and my strength. It pays to have a second view on everything.</span></div><div class="im" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">2) <b><i>What do you think about the practice of 'one-ness' in everything husbands and wives do including the symbolic gesture of having only one bank account or sharing only one blanket when they sleep? (I have a friend who insisted that he and the Mrs. must use only one quilt and not separate ones)</i></b></span></div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Ben:</b> No, not a big deal to me. In essential matters, oneness, in non-essential matters, liberty. For example, it is essential to practice oneness by living together, under one roof to preserve and develop the marriage. However, in others, like bank accounts or for that matter blankets, I am liberal. I think it is more important to be able to develop trust between each other. No point if the couple have a joint account but they have to justify and argue over every expenditure just because the spouse can not trust the partner’s decision. Without trust, possibly the spouse may hoard or hide certain information from the partner. What’s the point then?</span> </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">3) <b><i>There is a saying that goes, <span style="font-weight: bold;">"Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you."</span> What is your take on this as far as communication between couples are concerned?</i></b></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Ben:</b> I always think that connecting with my wife is very important. It will be weird if I can’t connect with the person lying next to me every night! That sounds more like a housemate or roommate! Connecting, however, involves participation from both parties, to have both the airtime and listening as well. However, when men come back from work, sometimes it takes a longer time to unwind from his work, especially if it has been a tough day. Men also have a cave mentality. Sometimes men just have to run to the cave to unwind. Once done, he is back to normal, and I mean really normal without any emotional baggage from earlier. on. For wives out there, yeah I know you want to be pampered by your dear husband once he comes back from work, but remember sometimes the timing may not be to your favour. However, if the husband constantly needs his space and cave, then I think he is not being fair to his wife.</span></div><div class="im" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">4) </span><span style="font-size: small;"><b><i>It is said that "men would rather be respected more than loved..". Do you think that is true and how should wives play their part to keep their spouses happy?</i></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Ben:</b> This “respect” thing can build or tear a man apart (due to lack of it) . For me, I want my wife to respect me in the way she treats me. Imagine if a wife were to look down on the poor husband, and over time, he will become a timid person, a loser if you like. It becomes a negative spiral. I think a mutual respect will build the marriage towards a positive spiral and ultimately a successful marriage. Everybody wants happy marriages and it takes two to tango. So the husband cannot expect the wife to respect him if he can’t respect her. For my definition, marriage is a partnership. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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</span></div><span style="font-size: small;"><i style="color: #660000;">Appreciation: Thank you, Ben, for sharing with us!</i></span> <br />
<div class="zemanta-pixie" style="height: 15px; margin-top: 10px;"><a class="zemanta-pixie-a" href="http://www.zemanta.com/" title="Enhanced by Zemanta"><img alt="Enhanced by Zemanta" class="zemanta-pixie-img" src="http://img.zemanta.com/zemified_e.png?x-id=50e8bd7b-c528-4593-8071-073bbabe5830" style="border: medium none; float: right;" /></a></div>Mad About Writinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17181591284969760340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-517363622267430441.post-20599307203339723572010-08-30T08:22:00.000-07:002010-08-30T08:38:58.489-07:00Mercury in Fish<div style="color: #990000; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My girl asked me one day:</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"Mummy, is fish smart?"</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"Hmm.. I don't think so. They have very small brains."</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"Then why did Grandma say I must eat fish to be smart?"</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.humorgraphics.com/assets/AboutFish_wb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="194" src="http://www.humorgraphics.com/assets/AboutFish_wb.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
</div><div style="color: #990000;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">That really cracked me up!</span> ;D</div><div style="color: #990000;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #990000;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The old wives' tale that eating fish is good for brains has its place. </span></div><div style="color: #990000;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I am, however, more concerned about the level of mercury in fish as nowadays, our rivers and seas are superbly toxic what with oil spills, toxic waste and chemicals conveniently dumped into our global waters. I have a friend who used to work off shore on an oil rig and he said that whatever liquid chemicals that weren't needed anymore were poured into the sea-- on a daily basis!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">What is considered a dangerous level of mercury in our bodies? </span></div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><i>"Most non-exposed people have mercury levels of <b>0 to 2</b> (all blood measurements are in micrograms of mercury per deciliter of blood, or ug/dl). Levels above <b>2.8 ug/dl </b>are required to be reported to the Health Department. This test can be influenced by eating fish, because fish (particularly certain deep sea fish) may contain mercury."</i></div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Source: </span><a href="http://ehs.okstate.edu/training/mercury.htm" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>Mercury </b></a><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">(read more for the side effects on health)</span></div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.helpyourautisticchildblog.com/wp-content/uploads/mercury.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://www.helpyourautisticchildblog.com/wp-content/uploads/mercury.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
</div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So I compiled a list of fish which has the lowest to the highest content of mercury as a guideline. Hope you'll find it helpful. </span></div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><h3>LOWEST MERCURY</h3><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Eat 2-3 servings a week (pregnant women and small children should not eat more than 12 ounces (2 servings):</span><br />
<ul style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><li>Anchovies </li>
<li>Catfish </li>
<li>Clam</li>
<li>Crab </li>
<li>Crawfish </li>
<li>Flounder </li>
<li>Haddock </li>
<li>Herring </li>
<li>Mackerel </li>
<li>Mullet </li>
<li>Oyster </li>
<li>Perch </li>
<li>Pollock </li>
<li>Salmon </li>
<li>Sardine </li>
<li>Scallop </li>
<li>Shrimp </li>
<li>Sole </li>
<li>Squid </li>
<li>Tilapia </li>
<li>Trout </li>
<li>Whitefish</li>
</ul><h3>MODERATE MERCURY</h3><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Eat six servings or fewer per month (pregnant women and small children should avoid these):</span><br />
<ul style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><li>Bass </li>
<li>Carp </li>
<li>Cod </li>
<li>Halibut </li>
<li>Lobster </li>
<li>Mahi Mahi </li>
<li>Monkfish </li>
<li>Perch </li>
<li>Snapper </li>
<li>Tuna (Canned Chunk light) </li>
</ul><h3>HIGH MERCURY</h3><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Eat three servings or less per month (pregnant women and small children should avoid these):</span><br />
<ul style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><li>Bluefish </li>
<li>Grouper </li>
<li>Sea Bass </li>
<li>Tuna (Canned Albacore, Yellowfin) </li>
</ul><h3>HIGHEST MERCURY</h3><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Avoid eating (everyone):</span><br />
<ul style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><li>Marlin </li>
<li>Orange Roughy </li>
<li>Shark </li>
<li>Swordfish </li>
<li>Tilefish </li>
<li>Tuna (Ahi)</li>
</ul><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancyhealth/fishmercury.htm">More: Mercury Levels in Fish </a></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> <a href="https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&pid=gmail&attid=0.1&thid=12ac0fac4765118c&mt=application/pdf&url=https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui%3D2%26ik%3D1b6cf4a811%26view%3Datt%26th%3D12ac0fac4765118c%26attid%3D0.1%26disp%3Dattd%26realattid%3Df_gdgr5w942%26zw&sig=AHIEtbR3f92XdPWZ_paoyOyAgR36MATGwQ&pli=1">Mercury in Malaysian Fish </a></div><span style="font-size: x-small;"><sub>Sources:</sub></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><sub> Food and Drug Administration (FDA). <a href="http://www.cfsan.fda.gov/%7Efrf/sea-mehg.html" target="_blank" zt="-o1/XJ">Mercury Levels in Commercial Fish and Shellfish</a> </sub></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><sub>Food and Drug Administration (FDA). <a href="http://www.cfsan.fda.gov/%7Edms/admehg3.html" target="_blank" zt="-o1/XJ">What You Need to Know About Mercury in Fish and Shellfish</a> </sub></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><sub>National Resource Defense Council. <a href="http://www.nrdc.org/health/effects/mercury/index.asp?gclid=CMH7vOa8zY0CFSMKGgod0CIQMg" target="_blank" zt="-o1/XJ">Mecury Contamination in Fish.</a> </sub></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><sub>Centers for Disease Control. <a href="http://www.atsdr.cdc.gov/toxprofiles/phs46.html#bookmark05" target="_blank" zt="-o1/XJ">Public Health Statement for Mercury</a>. Agency for Toxic Substances and Disease Registry.</sub></span></div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><sub><i>Carpe Diem</i>, ladies!</sub></span></div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><sub><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">Becky</span></sub></span></div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"></div>Mad About Writinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17181591284969760340noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-517363622267430441.post-21837211680502233242010-08-23T00:30:00.000-07:002010-08-25T02:16:23.661-07:00Would You Give Your Family Supplements?<div style="color: #990000; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">There are three things in life we cannot escape: <b> <br />
</b></div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b>Death, Taxes..................................................... and the Direct Salesman</b>! </div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">(Cymbals clang... "Thank you, Thank you! Yes, I love cheese...")</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Honestly, if you're not an MLM (Multi-Level Marketing) distributor, you would have at least been approached by a stranger, friend or a relative who is one. Every company would claim that theirs is the miracle product, helps you lose weight, can cure all sorts of illnesses, beautify you from inside out, prevent dread diseases and etc etc etc.</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> Some of the direct salespeople that have approached me and my family are from brands like Amway, Melilea, Cosway, Herbalife, Forever Living, Transfer Factor, Usana... to name a few. </span></div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.meds4yourhealth.com/images/health_supplements/health_supplements_250x251.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://www.meds4yourhealth.com/images/health_supplements/health_supplements_250x251.jpg" width="199" /></a></div><br />
</div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Although we have tried some, my husband is a stubborn skeptic while I sit on the fence on this matter. We have always maintained that as long as we eat a healthful and balanced diet, we should be doing alright. Right?</span></div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.healthspablog.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Balance_Diet_chart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="256" src="http://www.healthspablog.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Balance_Diet_chart.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
</div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So I asked some friends of ours over dinner last night. They are mature parents with three kids. Straight away they gave a resounding "YES! Health supplements work!" The husband said that due to his less-than-healthy lifestyle when he was much younger, he should be stricken with some form of illnesses by now. But unlike some of his friends who are either sickly, unhealthy-looking, balding due to a lifestyle of excess, he claims that he is in good health (well, he is certainly healthy looking). He believes that if he were to stop taking these supplements, all illnesses would surface. His wife opined that our natural food is no better nowadays what with all the growth hormones injected into meat, pesticide-laced vegetables, chemical-ridden imported foods..etc. Plus, depending on how meticulous we are, vegetables also tend to lose their goodness during the course of preparation and cooking. Also, people tend to eat out a lot more due to work and convenience. </span></div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Hmmm.....</span></div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Then, an article I came across got me wondering if we should perhaps balance our food intake with supplements after all. Check out <a href="http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2010/8/22/nation/6899636&sec=nation">Bizzarre Effects on Teens.</a></span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfN7UFVYZw4YORj3Pu4HjT3PvJCjO4RtR9cy1a1l-ebBLwxCu5aieJiwPrhml3YqLEFQGbg3ycCqce6LP_a7qzeLGUSQnZzaBSPv8k1rpMZHsq3rFxNlwCTdirC7brMYfiG0gtTsoYx5Y/s1600/230px-Gynecomastia_001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfN7UFVYZw4YORj3Pu4HjT3PvJCjO4RtR9cy1a1l-ebBLwxCu5aieJiwPrhml3YqLEFQGbg3ycCqce6LP_a7qzeLGUSQnZzaBSPv8k1rpMZHsq3rFxNlwCTdirC7brMYfiG0gtTsoYx5Y/s1600/230px-Gynecomastia_001.jpg" /></a></div></div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">According to Dr Alice Prethima, she is seeing many cases of abnormalities in male and female teens due to the food chain and diet e.g. girls with too much hair where it shouldn't be and boys growing breasts (pic), a condition called<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gynecomastia"> gynecomastia.</a> She further elaborated that we're eating too much meat and meat contain growth hormones previously injected into the animals. </span><br />
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<a href="http://www.rescue.com/photos/soda_bottle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://www.rescue.com/photos/soda_bottle.jpg" width="150" /></a><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Ybw_sCFyIHU/SRqsVcd1Y7I/AAAAAAAAKXc/M3eLqXfJ6Xo/s400/CIMG0616.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Ybw_sCFyIHU/SRqsVcd1Y7I/AAAAAAAAKXc/M3eLqXfJ6Xo/s200/CIMG0616.JPG" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Besides that, bad oestrogens enter our bodies from:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">a) Plastic materials e.g. fizzy bottled drinks</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">b) Polysterene containers when we pack food</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">c) Plastic bags/wrappers which are used to wrap food e.g. roti canai, curry, laksa...etc</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">d) Pesticides, insecticides and other bad oestrogenic substances in the environment.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.economicbubbles.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/pesticides1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="209" src="http://www.economicbubbles.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/pesticides1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It is a scary thought isn't it? That the food we take could potentially cause our sons to have breasts and daughters to be hairy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Perhaps supplements aren't such a bad idea after all? Unless you're a farmer or you grow your own vegetables, it seems 'natural' foods nowadays aren't so natural: Meat with hormones, vegetables with pesticide, fish with mercury, dairy products with melamine...etc. I worry for our children!</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">What do you reckon?</span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">More on:</span><br />
<a href="http://naturalmedicine.suite101.com/article.cfm/why_supplements_are_good_for_you"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Why Supplements are Good for You. </span></a><br />
<a href="http://www.submityourarticle.com/articles/Ben-Paul-8039/vitamins-and-minerals-111985.php"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Are Vitamins and Mineral Supplements Good for You? </span></a><br />
<a href="http://www.naturalhealthherbal.com/herbal-health/the-safety-of-herbal-supplements.html"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Safety of Herbal Supplements </span></a> </div><div class="zemanta-pixie" style="height: 15px; margin-top: 10px;"><a class="zemanta-pixie-a" href="http://www.zemanta.com/" title="Enhanced by Zemanta"><img alt="Enhanced by Zemanta" class="zemanta-pixie-img" src="http://img.zemanta.com/zemified_e.png?x-id=84ac4fbd-843a-4ee8-8010-e56ed7a70c07" style="border: medium none; float: right;" /></a></div>Mad About Writinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17181591284969760340noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-517363622267430441.post-59678482697277855602010-08-05T06:00:00.000-07:002010-09-03T09:25:18.789-07:00Man Talk - Jared<div style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Name: Jared </div><div style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Location: Wellington, New Zealand</div><div style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Age: 27 <br />
Married for 20 months (AGES!!!!!! hahaha)</div><div style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">1)<b> <i>"To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not understand her at all." What is your take on the above statement?</i></b></div><div style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b>Jared:</b> I don't really agree with this statement. I've heard something similar in that men would rather be respected more than loved which I think can be true in some sense, and for a lot of men this may be the case. However, I think these 2 things (love and understanding/respect) go hand in hand. To be able to truly love my Wife in the capacity she needs and deserves, I need to understand how she works/thinks (as hard as that may seem sometimes haha), how she feels loved, and how I can best show that to her. <br />
Likewise, if my wife understands me, yet does not love me, then she would just be the same as any other person who has taken the time to get to know me. Many of my friends understand me, that doesn't mean they want to be married to me.</div><div style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">2) <i><b>Which part of the wedding vow do you hold especially dear to your heart? Why?</b></i></span></div><div style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b>Jared:</b> The part of our vows which I hold dear is "I will ... always seek your good with all my strength and all the strength God gives me". In Ephesians 5:22 it says " Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church...". Quite often guys will jokingly quote this scripture, perhaps sometimes with some degree of belief, making the point the the wife should do whatever the husband says. Rarely do they carry on from that where it says in verse 25:<br />
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"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy ... in this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies."<br />
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To me this is the real challenge is. To love my Wife with the same level of commitment, dedication and passion that Christ showed to me by laying down his life. That whatever decisions are made, they are in her best interest.</div><div style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">3) <i><b>Under "Money Issues..", an Anonymous who is a husband commented "...I would want to think that I am the main breadwinner, providing everything including frills for the wife. Trust me, most men, real men do..."</b></i></span><i><b><br style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Do you think most men, including yourself, really share the same sentiment or should equality reign in couples in this day and age?</span></b></i></div><div style="color: #660000;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b>Jared:</b> The topic of money is one that I think that has numerous and varied opinions. I think at the heart of most men there is that 'hunter and gatherer' mentality that we want to be able to provide for all of our wife's/families needs. At the end of the day though, every couple is different. Everyone (men and women) have their own desires and dreams for what they want to accomplish in life. I think that the topic of money needs to be something that is discussed by a couple early on, so that both sides are aware of the expectations each other has.<br />
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I personally think that being married, my Wife and I are a team. Whatever we do, it is for each other's benefit. Money is only one of many aspects of our marriage. If my wife earns more than me, then I wouldn't feel less of a man, or that I'm not a 'real man' as Mr Anonymous may suggest. No one should feel that they are defined by how much they earn. There are far more important things in this world.</div><div style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">4) <i><b>We discussed a lot about love languages under "Five Love Languages", 1/7/2010. How do you feel when your wife speaks the right love language to you?</b></i></span></div><div style="color: #660000; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b>Jared:</b> This follows on from my point in answer #1. It's important to know what your spouse's love languages are, to be able to ensure their 'love tank' is full. Luckily (or not so luckily) for me my wife has ALL 5 of them!! Oh the choices =) <br />
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As for me, when my wife speaks my love languages, not only do I feel loved, but I know that she understands how I work and that she makes the effort speak love to me in a way that I understand. For me my main languages are quality time and gifts of service. So when she does something like doing a chore for me that I usually do even though she doesn't like doing it (the reason I usually do it), then I am not only grateful, but feel loved that she did something that made me happy, and not her.</div><div style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><i style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Appreciation: Many thanks, Jared, for sharing your heart with us on Carpe Diem Mamas! It's good to see the other side of a coin once in awhile. Mamas, do your husbands share Jared's opinions on the above issues? If you're a husband/male reader, we'd like to know what you think too....</span></i></div>Mad About Writinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17181591284969760340noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-517363622267430441.post-53241435103090361442010-08-01T20:20:00.000-07:002010-08-02T00:01:49.934-07:00My Brother, My Sister.... My Friend<div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I attended a cousin's wedding recently. She is the only girl among five siblings. Yet, she and her brothers are close and care deeply for one another. When we joked that the groom-to-be had to be 'cross-examined' and approved by the brothers first, the eldest brother candidly replied, "Of course! No one can bully our sister--- <b>but us</b>!"</span></div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">How wonderful to have siblings looking out for you..</span></div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">On the other extreme, an intensely bitter sibling rivalry between two brothers in Sabah ended with one murdering the other. This happened quite recently on 1st April 2010. The mother said the two fought often over petty issues which she believed was due to jealousy and unhappiness. The father said the two sons had been at odds with each other ever since the younger one was 3 years old. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><a href="http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2010/4/1/nation/5970957&sec=nation">(Source: Sibling rivalry ends in murder)</a></span></div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Tragic, isn't it? - that children from the same womb should hate each other so much!</span></div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.parenting-blog.net/wp-content/uploads/2006/07/sibling%20rivalry.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="http://www.parenting-blog.net/wp-content/uploads/2006/07/sibling%20rivalry.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div class="zemanta-related" style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="zemanta-related" style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Although sibling quarrels are normal and part of growing up, as a mother, I want my children to get along well because at the end of the day, no matter what happens, blood is thicker than water. It should be your family that stands by you when the chips are down. I think it would break any mother's heart to see the children she gave birth to mired in strife and hate.</span></div><div class="zemanta-related" style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="zemanta-related" style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">What factors contribute to the quality of sibling relationships?</span></div><div class="zemanta-related" style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="zemanta-related" style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">a) <span style="background-color: yellow;">Sex and Temperament</span></div><div class="zemanta-related" style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">- Sibling relationships are more likely to be warm and harmonious between siblings of the same sex (Dunn & Kendrick, 1981) and when neither is temperamentally emotional (Brody, Stoneman & McCoy, 1994).</div><div class="zemanta-related" style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"></div><div class="zemanta-related" style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">b) <span style="background-color: yellow;">Age</span></div><div class="zemanta-related" style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">Sibling relationships generally improve as the younger one approaches adolescence because they begin to perceive each other as equals (Buhrmester & Furman, 1990)</div><div class="zemanta-related" style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="zemanta-related" style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">c) <span style="background-color: yellow;">Parents' treatment of children </span></div><div class="zemanta-related" style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">Siblings more often get along when they believe parents have no 'favourites' but treat all equally (Kowal & Kramer, 1997). When parents exalt one child's accomplishments while ignoring the other, children will notice and the sibling relationship suffers.</div><div class="zemanta-related" style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="zemanta-related" style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">d) <span style="background-color: yellow;">Parents' relationship with each other</span></div><div class="zemanta-related" style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">A warm, harmonious relationship between parents often makes for positive sibling relationships; conflict between parents is associated with conflict between siblings (Volling & Belsky, 1992). When parents don't get along, they no longer treat their children the same, leading to conflict among siblings (Brody et al., 1994)</span></div><div class="zemanta-related" style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="zemanta-related" style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">[Source: Children and their Development, Robert V. Kail]</div><div class="zemanta-related" style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="zemanta-related" style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">The implication we get from the above is that we as parents can influence sibling relationships for the better if we are loving towards each other, and be equally affectionate, responsive as well as caring towards all of our children. </div><div class="zemanta-related" style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="zemanta-related" style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b>From your experience, how have the above factors influenced your sibling relationships? And how do you improve on those factors to enhance your children's relationships with one another?</b><br />
</div><div class="zemanta-related" style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"></div><div class="zemanta-related" style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"></div><div class="zemanta-related" style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b> </b>At the end of the day.....</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9akntiBuwyPnbogWCTeYAjhE6NhIWvAxmnflacEto0LKksn7ORkM3zwznsk5oXrp_Lf0OHsuYWXn4V2p4lPec6jBAl0LKxOzsMQ2X9RnP8HlEDZiuxVkKR5NkJvNNzgOPqVzFQtIOlwc/s1600/r+n+l+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9akntiBuwyPnbogWCTeYAjhE6NhIWvAxmnflacEto0LKksn7ORkM3zwznsk5oXrp_Lf0OHsuYWXn4V2p4lPec6jBAl0LKxOzsMQ2X9RnP8HlEDZiuxVkKR5NkJvNNzgOPqVzFQtIOlwc/s200/r+n+l+2.JPG" width="200" /></a></div><div class="zemanta-related" style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b> </b><i style="color: #990000;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">A brother (sister) is a friend God gave you; A friend is a brother (sister) your heart chose.</span></i></div><b style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">-Proverb</b><br />
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</div><div style="color: #990000;"><i>Carpe Diem,</i> ladies!</div><span style="color: #990000;">Becky</span><br />
<div class="zemanta-related"><br />
</div><div class="zemanta-pixie" style="height: 15px; margin-top: 10px;"><a class="zemanta-pixie-a" href="http://www.zemanta.com/" title="Enhanced by Zemanta"><img alt="Enhanced by Zemanta" class="zemanta-pixie-img" src="http://img.zemanta.com/zemified_e.png?x-id=5a2eee69-6a12-40f9-ba76-96fe28cd232b" style="border: medium none; float: right;" /></a></div>Mad About Writinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17181591284969760340noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-517363622267430441.post-14455105026678512452010-07-29T07:58:00.000-07:002010-07-31T02:18:58.432-07:00D.I.Y. Play dough Fun!<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I </span><b style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">love</b><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> play dough! Who doesn't? </span><br />
<div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">It's a great form of play that is divergent with endless possibilities and plenty of room for creativity. Children love it and they come up with the most amazing things if we just let them be. It's also educational; when I make it with my daughter, I'd tell her the measurement for the ingredients needed (<i>Maths concept</i>), what they're called (<i>Vocabulary - Language</i>), what they're for (e.g. <i>salt for preservation - Science concept</i>) and I let her mix and knead it (<i>Fine Motor Skills</i>). </div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">Between commercial and home made play dough, I prefer the latter simply because:</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">a) Making it is part of the fun</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">b) It's more economical</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">c) Safe, non-toxic and edible (though not for eating, but in case they put it in their mouths, it's not the end of the world for us..)</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">d) We can make fresh batches everytime the old ones are stale or dirty. </div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">Here's the recipe I usually use:</div><div style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">2 cups of flour</div><div style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">1 cup of salt</div><div style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">4 teaspoons cream of tartar</div><div style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">1 cup of hot water </div><div style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">1 tablespoon of cooking oil</div><div style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">Food colouring (amount depends on how bright you want the colour to be)</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">Method: Mix dry ingredients followed by wet ingredients together. Knead until smooth and 'clean', as in it doesn't stick to your hands or the table. If it's sticky, add more flour. If too dry and crumbly, add a bit of water. Keep in airtight container. Should last about two weeks or more-depending on how tight the container is. It is even better to keep it refrigerated. If it starts to smell funny, discard and make a fresh batch.</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMNbhfNTTKbejIjQPkqgHmr-wGSeOKKzE7UzBpiLZ2JXPtfjswDdkZ3JcQOVznVZM-rZRCzFoGjUzGts_htGU1Ag-GWHPEoj29Er64cIHdHNcj3v4xxFAlEbmfGp-QsiQ2R1JMp3sJCps/s1600/IMG_1848.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMNbhfNTTKbejIjQPkqgHmr-wGSeOKKzE7UzBpiLZ2JXPtfjswDdkZ3JcQOVznVZM-rZRCzFoGjUzGts_htGU1Ag-GWHPEoj29Er64cIHdHNcj3v4xxFAlEbmfGp-QsiQ2R1JMp3sJCps/s200/IMG_1848.JPG" width="200" /></a></div></div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><div style="text-align: center;">My 'masterpieces':</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5YOQDvX7WoFik6aKBwaKpbO0RjCiHuDddrEM-WD5ie1RN7B_gUjrWwZG7fQNht5BBmB4PrH4lOQiXtV3-heQRyU2uFrV_xGytyJQNeOrYCRy9m4md3xXZvv5hMdKl5kfaPoP_PltOgHo/s1600/IMG_1857.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5YOQDvX7WoFik6aKBwaKpbO0RjCiHuDddrEM-WD5ie1RN7B_gUjrWwZG7fQNht5BBmB4PrH4lOQiXtV3-heQRyU2uFrV_xGytyJQNeOrYCRy9m4md3xXZvv5hMdKl5kfaPoP_PltOgHo/s200/IMG_1857.JPG" width="200" /></a></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmow8Qai7AKKGLzFp0tsll77SEhvd66MhQWDcfVvJEAVjcl7-S_LLNg2uRbFFpPne7ueJr1StmcLcVXoENEEKakyscGfX3PopzI6BDM51Ze46RxzecFpqmsIG8NSk5_aoUsogxdXzN2_w/s1600/IMG_1860.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmow8Qai7AKKGLzFp0tsll77SEhvd66MhQWDcfVvJEAVjcl7-S_LLNg2uRbFFpPne7ueJr1StmcLcVXoENEEKakyscGfX3PopzI6BDM51Ze46RxzecFpqmsIG8NSk5_aoUsogxdXzN2_w/s200/IMG_1860.JPG" width="200" /></a><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"> Meet the</div><div style="text-align: center;">residents of </div><div style="text-align: center;">"Gumby-ville".</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirsQUwk3AqOVFuiwgABfxNL7CfOG8AmsPHKmDgr7EygocG6b4sLu_as3LxyNefeUMc-bzI_dS888AK0UcVJszYv_9m1x5MZdK4KUAOLouckAyl-486LLIVhUhIZnnx8y21E3iAKB5ONWc/s1600/IMG_1858.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirsQUwk3AqOVFuiwgABfxNL7CfOG8AmsPHKmDgr7EygocG6b4sLu_as3LxyNefeUMc-bzI_dS888AK0UcVJszYv_9m1x5MZdK4KUAOLouckAyl-486LLIVhUhIZnnx8y21E3iAKB5ONWc/s200/IMG_1858.JPG" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEn6imCbj7Hqa7egcQa3c4l0xH-nTctM8t0eKUb6hR5tNULNDfjwj-LlqpfKpMofaXM9158KzvgA9So_XwNIfn1YZZbY0yOTxD273m9WsCRwh8HC0U9tSz5o0qUFPOj0tvZ4YHuYT3ZYo/s1600/IMG_1859.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEn6imCbj7Hqa7egcQa3c4l0xH-nTctM8t0eKUb6hR5tNULNDfjwj-LlqpfKpMofaXM9158KzvgA9So_XwNIfn1YZZbY0yOTxD273m9WsCRwh8HC0U9tSz5o0qUFPOj0tvZ4YHuYT3ZYo/s200/IMG_1859.JPG" width="200" /></a></div><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"> Daughter's 'masterpieces':</div><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWyeImsXN9MO2rBgz2D6IrLiGsXHrzuQQEvrjOI_8Fi61F80NYynfj7vhMa2mqeQohtT35HTyqBRoCEBTmzjPUeidjq1zNg3z7XMcTzZKp-mrElD21XGpBr8I4NIT4mYjwuzJ8YABxsyk/s1600/IMG_1861.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWyeImsXN9MO2rBgz2D6IrLiGsXHrzuQQEvrjOI_8Fi61F80NYynfj7vhMa2mqeQohtT35HTyqBRoCEBTmzjPUeidjq1zNg3z7XMcTzZKp-mrElD21XGpBr8I4NIT4mYjwuzJ8YABxsyk/s200/IMG_1861.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Mask"</td></tr>
</tbody></table></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVYevAlj_fL75QTxWSIbPXdysEVz2uhxijL6uESfNqlwKLzi_mGFvcf0G6r9CYhEKtITCSt4gkuFJnM8RqaH7_VXDk7PjgQNUk6Hii377EpRXdM_coYWo0QkcNC8r8n2Z_ipaJ-a3kjH0/s1600/IMG_1862.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVYevAlj_fL75QTxWSIbPXdysEVz2uhxijL6uESfNqlwKLzi_mGFvcf0G6r9CYhEKtITCSt4gkuFJnM8RqaH7_VXDk7PjgQNUk6Hii377EpRXdM_coYWo0QkcNC8r8n2Z_ipaJ-a3kjH0/s200/IMG_1862.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Thumbelina"</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><br />
<b>What other D.I.Y play ideas have you tried with your children at home? </b><br />
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More play dough recipes to try as they yield different textures and consistency:</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
<b>Oatmeal dough</b><br />
2 cups oatmeal<br />
1 cup flour<br />
1/2 cup water<br />
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Combine ingredients and knead well. Finished projects can be painted when dry.<br />
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<b>Baker's Clay</b><br />
1 cup cornstarch<br />
2 cups baking soda<br />
1 1/2 cups cold water<br />
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Combine ingredients. Stir till smooth. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly until consistency is like dry mashed potatoes. Turn out onto plate or bowl, covering with damp cloth. When cooled, knead thoroughly until smooth.<br />
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<b>Salt Dough</b><br />
4 cups of salt<br />
1 cup cornstarch<br />
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Combine with sufficient water to form a paste. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly. <br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">(S</span><span style="font-size: x-small;">ource: Creative Resources for the Early Childhood Classroom, 2nd edition by Judy Herr and Yvonne Libby)</span><br />
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<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i>Carpe Diem</i>, ladies!</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Becky</span></div>Mad About Writinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17181591284969760340noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-517363622267430441.post-62367379669314478812010-07-26T11:12:00.000-07:002010-07-26T18:14:50.305-07:00Money issues - Leading cause of Marital Problems?<div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Recently, there was a discussion on the radio about money issues being the main source of marital quarrels. </div><div style="color: #990000;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Agree/Disagree</b> <b>?</b></div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #990000;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">In fact, a <a href="http://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/12/07/money-fights-predict-divorce-rates/" style="background-color: yellow;">study</a> by Jeffrey Dew, Utah State University</span></span>, <span style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">found that couples who argue about money once a week are 30% more likely to divorce than couples who disagree about finances few times a month.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://agoodhusband.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/300_30525.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="http://agoodhusband.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/300_30525.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br />
<div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Here are some common examples of how money issues can drive a wedge between couples:</div><ul style="text-align: justify;"><li style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Wife complaining that Husband doesn't earn enough.</li>
<li style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Husband wants Wife to work to help pay for bills, whereas Wife wants to be full-time homemaker.</li>
<li style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Wife blames Husband for losing their savings in a bad investment choice.</li>
<li style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Wife earns less than Husband, but is expected to pay for all other household expenses while Husband pays for car and house loans.</li>
<li style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Husband thinks Wife spends too much on a handbag whereas Wife wouldn't be caught dead with an imitation Louis Vuitton.</li>
<li style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Husband/Wife feels spouse passes too much money to his/her own family members.</li>
<li><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Wife is hurt that Husband has not changed his insurance policy beneficiary to her instead of his sister.</span></li>
</ul><span style="color: #990000;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></span></span><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></span><br />
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<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">The list is endless as it differs from couple to couple. Although the situation is unique to each couple, it all boils down to <i style="color: #38761d;">managing each other's expectations</i><span style="color: #38761d;">.</span> For example, before we got married, my then fiance thought both of us should pay for future expenses equally. I, on the other hand, thought THE MAN should shoulder most of the financial burden as the woman would be shouldering a different kind of burden <i>besides work</i>: pregnancy, labour pain, child birth, breastfeeding pain, sleepless nights, childcare, managing household -- so wouldn't the woman be tipping the scale already as far as contributions are concerned? </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.fotosearch.com/bthumb/IMZ/IMZ008/kle0048.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.fotosearch.com/bthumb/IMZ/IMZ008/kle0048.jpg" /></a></div><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i></i></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Anyway, the pre-marital course we attended brought to light our differences due to our:</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">a) Family Upbringing</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">b) Financial Background</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">c) Financial Goals and Priorities. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">To prevent such disputes, disciplined planning and budgeting are advocated. </span></div><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Here are some more <a href="http://www.youneedabudget.com/2005/a-marriage-and-money-problem-what-to-do-about-it/" style="background-color: yellow;">useful tips</a> about solving money problems within marriage - summarized:</span><br />
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">1. <b>Communicate openly and honestly</b> about:</span><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">i. Goals</span><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">ii. Limits </span><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">iii. Budget</span><br />
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">2. <b>Set Aside Selfishness</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Simple, yet not so simple, right? </span><br />
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<div style="color: #990000; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">How else should couples iron out their $$$ disputes? And just for the fun of it, should husbands give wives a monthly allowance? Even if the wife is working and earning a salary? But if wives earn more, should they give husbands an allowance then?</span></b></div><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
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<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="color: #990000;"><i>Carpe Diem</i>, ladies!</span></div><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Becky</span></span><br />
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</span>Mad About Writinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17181591284969760340noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-517363622267430441.post-59197179264193225172010-07-23T06:54:00.000-07:002010-07-23T08:48:40.455-07:00"Spring Cleaning"...........<div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Hi all, </div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">As you can see, I've given the mama blog a new look. Just like how we spring clean our homes and rearrange the furniture every now and then, a change is always good for the soul. Besides the new look, other changes that follow:</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b>a) Frequency of Posting</b></div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">I've decided to post every Monday and Thursday or twice a week. This is due to time constraint on my part as well as to give time for readers to ponder and respond to each post.</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b>b) What the Men say in "Man Talk"</b></div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">Although the blog's topics and discussion so far have been exclusively mama/women-oriented, I will be asking papas or papas-to-be to give their point of view on certain topics, comments previously submitted by readers. questions on parenting/marriage/children...etc. This will take place every 1st and 3rd week of the month on Thursdays. Let me know if you'd like to volunteer your husbands!</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">That's all for now. Hope we can all move forward with a fresh new start! But do expect some 'spring cleaning' every now and then. :D</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: justify;"><i>Carpe Diem</i>, ladies!</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: justify;">Becky </div>Mad About Writinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17181591284969760340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-517363622267430441.post-65776418883670746482010-07-22T20:01:00.000-07:002010-07-23T07:41:35.352-07:00Multiple Intelligences<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
Somebody sent me this video of a talk by <a href="http://www.ted.com/speakers/sir_ken_robinson.html" style="background-color: yellow;">Sir Ken Robinson</a><span style="background-color: yellow;">,</span> creativity expert who challenges the way we are educating our children. He champions a radical rethink of our school systems, to cultivate creativity and to acknowledge multiple types of intelligences. I<b><i> urge</i></b> you to have a look-- it is hilarious and enlightening:</div><br />
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b><a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity.html">Ken Robinson, Schools Kill Creativity. video</a></b></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><a href="http://www.clipartheaven.com/clipart/education_&_schools/cartoons/report_card_1.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://www.clipartheaven.com/clipart/education_&_schools/cartoons/report_card_1.gif" width="133" /></a>Along with that, I have also listed out here different types of intelligences as postulated by Howard Gardner, a psychologist and professor of neuroscience from Harvard University. His theory challenged the age old understanding that everyone is born with a uniform cognitive capacity that can be measured by short answer tests....which is practiced in our education systems today.</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
Hopefully, this will make us rethink about how our children should learn as well as appreciate that every individual's capability is not necessarily measured by the school's report card....</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="color: purple; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b>Gardner's Multiple Intelligences:</b></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><a href="http://www.schemamag.ca/archive2/images/martin-luther-king2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="172" src="http://www.schemamag.ca/archive2/images/martin-luther-king2.jpg" width="200" /></a><span class="bodytext"><b> </b></span><br />
<span class="bodytext"><b>1. Linguistic Intelligence</b>: the capacity to use language to express what's on your mind and to understand other people. Any kind of writer, orator, speaker, lawyer, or other person for whom language is an important stock in trade has great linguistic intelligence.<br />
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<span class="bodytext"><b>2. Logical/Mathematical Intelligence</b>: the capacity to understand the underlying principles of some kind of causal system, the way a scientist or a logician does; or to manipulate numbers, quantities, and operations, the way a mathematician does.<br />
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<span class="bodytext"><b>3. Musical Rhythmic Intelligence</b>: the capacity to think in music; to be able to hear patterns, recognize them, and perhaps manipulate them. People who have strong musical intelligence don't just remember music easily, they can't get it out of their minds, it's so omnipresent.</span><br />
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<span class="bodytext"><b>4. Bodily/Kinesthetic Intelligence</b>: the capacity to use your whole body or parts of your body (your hands, your fingers, your arms) to solve a problem, make something, or put on some kind of production. The most evident examples are people in athletics or the performing arts, particularly dancing or acting.<br />
(pic: Gillian Lynne, choreographer of CATS)<br />
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<span class="bodytext"><b>5. Spatial Intelligence</b>: the ability to represent the spatial world internally in your mind -- the way a sailor or airplane pilot navigates the large spatial world, or the way a chess player or sculptor represents a more circumscribed spatial world. Spatial intelligence can be used in the arts or in the sciences.</span><br />
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<b>6. Naturalist Intelligence</b>: the ability to discriminate among living things (plants, animals) and sensitivity to other features of the natural world (clouds, rock configurations). This ability was clearly of value in our evolutionary past as hunters, gatherers, and farmers; it continues to be central in such roles as botanist or chef.<br />
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<b>7. Intrapersonal Intelligence</b>: having an understanding of yourself; knowing who you are, what you can do, what you want to do, how you react to things, which things to avoid, and which things to gravitate toward. We are drawn to people who have a good understanding of themselves. They tend to know what they can and can't do, and to know where to go if they need help.<br />
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<b>8. Interpersonal Intelligence</b>: the ability to understand other people. It's an ability we all need, but is especially important for teachers, clinicians, salespersons, or politicians -- anybody who deals with other people.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.district196.org/District/CurriculumAssessment/Curr-Math/Images/TeacherAndStudent1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://www.district196.org/District/CurriculumAssessment/Curr-Math/Images/TeacherAndStudent1.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><span class="bodytext"> <b>9. Existential Intelligence</b>: the ability and proclivity to pose (and ponder) questions about life, death, and ultimate realities.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://dogmatics.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/billygraham-praying.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="134" src="http://dogmatics.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/billygraham-praying.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><span class="bodytext"> </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> (Source: <a href="http://www.pbs.org/wnet/gperf/education/ed_mi_overview.html">Gardner,MI)</a></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b>Do you think your child may be inclined toward a particular kind of intelligence? With this knowledge of multiple intelligences, what do you think about letting a child join all kinds of activities vs. focusing on one?</b></div><div class="zemanta-pixie" style="height: 15px; margin-top: 10px;"><a class="zemanta-pixie-a" href="http://www.zemanta.com/" title="Enhanced by Zemanta"><img alt="Enhanced by Zemanta" class="zemanta-pixie-img" src="http://img.zemanta.com/zemified_e.png?x-id=314bb4c3-3425-488c-bf4c-4e35f9030d67" style="border: medium none; float: right;" /></a></div>Mad About Writinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17181591284969760340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-517363622267430441.post-90104268824060017202010-07-19T08:10:00.000-07:002010-07-25T03:43:02.009-07:00"Mama's Battle Scars"<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">For</span> <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">mums-to-be, getting pregnant is both a joyful and harrowing experience. We go through a lot of hormonal, emotional and physical changes. Speaking of physical, one can't deny that before and after pregnancy, our bodies just aren't the same. I like to call them "Mama's Battle Scars"-- signs of how we sacrifice a little of ourselves as we bring new life into the world. </span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">Here's a short list of some common 'battles scars' and how to prevent/treat them (if at all possible). </div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b><br />
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</div><div style="color: red; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b>JELLY BELLY</b></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">One can easily tell if a woman has or hasn't given birth when you see her in tight or hipster jeans. </div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">For those who have given birth, our lower belly tends to 'spill over' the top, looking like the edge of a muffin. My jelly belly was so severe (I gained an extra 27kg while pregnant with my 2nd), that people were still asking me if I was about to deliver soon -- 6 months <b>AFTER</b> I gave birth.. (true story!)</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: blue; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><a href="http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y46/theoddlittleduck/Natalie/Belly-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y46/theoddlittleduck/Natalie/Belly-1.jpg" width="200" /></a><b>Prevention:</b></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">I doubt if there is any way to prevent this as our muscles are stretched so much while our uterus expands. </div><div style="color: lime; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b>Treatment: </b></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">- Breastfeeding as much as possible to help the uterus contract.</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">- A comprehensive exercise program which includes cardio workout and ab toning exercises.</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
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</div><div style="color: red; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b>STRETCH MARKS</b></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">More than half of pregnant women will develop stretch marks during pregnancy and the color range from pinkish to darker streaks of blue or purple. For darker skinned women, they may be lighter in color. I was shocked when I spotted purple stretch marks on both my thighs when I was first pregnant. At that time, I just bought a bottle of stretch mark cream and didn't even have the chance to apply it. Apparently, the amount of stretch marks one gets depends on how elastic our skin is, which depends very much on our genetic make-up-- and which, unfortunately, is out of our control. It also depends on how rapidly we gain weight -- which is within our control. Supposedly...</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: blue; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b>Prevention</b></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">-So far, there are no scientific studies that support the claims of different creams and lotions that can prevent stretch marks although some women may swear by cocoa butter. My sister used Bio-Oil and it seemed to have done her some good. </div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">- The best thing to do besides using creams is to gain the recommended amount of weight (between 25 and 34 pounds). </div><div style="color: lime; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b>Treatment</b></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">-First and foremost, stretch marks tend to fade by itself or become lighter over time although they may not completely disappear. So, if it does, nothing more to worry about...</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">- Apparently, there are methods e.g. laser treatments, surgical skin resection, microdermabrasion which are expensive and not guaranteed to completely remove them.</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">- Stretch marks cream e.g. cocoa butter cream, Tretinoin (Retin-A), creams with collagen, elastin, emu oil, liposomes..etc helps to penetrate the skin's layers and work on damaged skin. The challenge of course is finding the right cream. Anyone can testify about one that worked wonders for you?</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">- Frankly, I think that unless you make a living as a supermodel, this is hardly a cause for concern. But then again, to each her own...</div><div style="color: red; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: black;">(Source: </span><a href="http://ezinearticles.com/?Stretch-Marks:-Prevention-and-Treatment-During-Pregnancy&id=69914" style="color: black;">Stretch Marks, Ezine</a><span style="color: black;">)</span></b><br />
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</b></div><div style="color: red; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b>SAGGY BREASTS</b></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="http://photos.demandstudios.com/150/18/fotolia_1458081_XS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://photos.demandstudios.com/150/18/fotolia_1458081_XS.jpg" width="133" /></a></div>Have you tried putting on your pre-pregnancy brassiere after birth and go "Funny.. they didn't look like that last time.."?</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><i>"How your breasts change during a pregnancy is related to genetics, skin elasticity and amount of weight gain. Avoidance of smoking and excessive sun exposure can help the skin to retain its elasticity.</i></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><i>Breastfeeding often gets blamed for the sagging of breasts. Actually, it is <b>pregnancy </b>and <b>not nursing</b> that affects the shape and size of your breasts. Breastfeeding and gradual weaning make it more likely that fat will be redeposited in your breasts, helping them to regain more of their pre-pregnancy appearance (Minchin, 1989). <a href="http://www.ivillage.com/saggy-breasts-will-breasts-ever-perk-again-after-weaning/6-n-137293">Pregnancy & Parenting</a></i></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><i>Usually by about six months after weaning, your breasts will have returned to more of their pre-pregnancy look. They also will feel more dense, as fatty tissue begins to fill them out again."</i></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">-- I have to disagree with the last two sentences. I breastfed, it was more than 6 months after I weaned off my first baby and my breasts still have not returned to their pre-pregnancy look --- I doubt if they ever will again.</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: blue; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b>Prevention</b></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">- Some say that wearing a properly fitted maternity bra will help as our body changes throughout the pregnancy.</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">- Prescription breast cream might help. </div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">- Strengthening chest muscles so they can support enlarged breasts.</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: lime;">Treatment</span></b></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">-Chest exercises e.g. light weight lifting</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">-Herb supplement to help firm the breasts e.g. <i>shatavari, P. mirifica, Ashoka, Lodra</i> and <i>amalaki </i></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><i>-</i>Breast firming products e.g. pills, capsules, extracts, liquids are used for internal medication whereas creams, oils, gels, lotions and some specially made sprays help in firming the breasts.</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">- Massaging breasts with medicated herbal oil (Source: <a href="http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Firm-Up-Breasts---4-Tips-to-Get-Rid-of-Saggy-Breasts&id=2237950">Ezine</a>)</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">- There is however, a school of thought/study that says <b>NOT</b> wearing bras helps to decrease breasts sagging. <a href="http://www.007b.com/bra_sagging.php">Bras and Sagging. </a></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">- Of course, there's always plastic surgery e.g. breast augmentation.</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">Of the above, I've only tried exercises which helps a little although I guess it won't return the breasts to what they used to be. Therefore, meet my good friends, <i>Wacoal</i> and <i>Xixili</i>.... </div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: red;"></span><b><span style="color: red;">SPIDER AND VARICOSE VEINS</span></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><a href="http://www.denisharkin.co.uk/custom/MedRGB-ThreadLegs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="http://www.denisharkin.co.uk/custom/MedRGB-ThreadLegs.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">I saw a friend with dark spider veins all over her foot and varicose veins on her calves. So far, I've been spared from it although who knows if I were to carry on with more pregnancies. My own mother had a lot of varicose and spider veins. She recalled that sometimes it caused her excruciating pain.</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: blue; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b>Prevention</b></div><ul style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;" type="disc"><a href="http://www.iconradiology.com/images/varicose-vein-calf.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://www.iconradiology.com/images/varicose-vein-calf.jpg" width="160" /></a>
<li>Wear sunscreen to protect your skin from the sun and to limit spider veins on the face.</li>
<li>Exercise regularly to improve your leg strength, circulation, and vein strength. Focus on exercises that work your legs, such as walking or running.</li>
<li>Control your weight to avoid placing too much pressure on your legs.</li>
<li>Don’t cross your legs for long times when sitting. </li>
<li>Elevate your legs when resting as much as possible.</li>
<li>Don’t stand or sit for long periods of time. If you must stand for a long time, shift your weight from one leg to the other every few minutes. If you must sit for long periods of time, stand up and move around or take a short walk every 30 minutes.</li>
<li>Wear elastic support stockings and avoid tight clothing that constricts your waist, groin, or legs.</li>
<li>Avoid wearing high heels for long periods of time. Lower-heeled shoes can help tone your calf muscles to help blood move through your veins.</li>
<li>Eat a low-salt diet rich in high-fiber foods. Eating fiber reduces the chances of <a href="http://www.womenshealth.gov/Glossary/index.cfm#constipation">constipation</a>, which can contribute to varicose veins. </li>
</ul><div style="color: lime; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b>Treatment</b></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">- Compression stockings</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">- Sclerotherapy</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">- Surface Laser Treatments</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">- Endovenous Techniques (Radiofrequency and Laser)</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">- Surgery</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">- PIN stripping</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">- Ambulatory phlebectomy (Source: <a href="http://www.womenshealth.gov/faq/varicose-spider-veins.cfm#K">Varicose and Spider Veins, FAQ</a>)</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b>Okay, do you have any of the above 'battle scars'? Or others perhaps? If not, please tell us how you prevented it, or if you do, how you treated it e.g. what creams, herbal supplements, lotions..etc that actually helped you....</b></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
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</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: justify;"><i>Carpe Diem</i>, ladies!</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: justify;">Becky</div>Mad About Writinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17181591284969760340noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-517363622267430441.post-75773491238005684912010-07-12T23:26:00.000-07:002010-07-12T23:31:00.575-07:00Hard Habit to Break<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">When I was little, I had a few bad habits which drove my parents up the wall. Some, they managed to curb. One habit, however, still remained till today. </div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">The habit which they managed to stop was thumb-sucking. Yes, I was a thumb-sucker for goodness-knows-how-long. I sucked my thumb to sleep and whenever I was not doing anything -- which was most of the time at a young age of 3 - 5, maybe? I don't remember.. I sucked till my thumb was misshapen, pale and wrinkly like a prune. I guess it got so bad that they had to 'force' me to stop by rubbing foul-smelling ointment on my thumb. </div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">The other habit which I retained till today is 'cracking' my ankles, just like how you crack your knuckles. I could crack both ankles like castanets. One after the other. My mum used to scold me and cane my legs to make me stop. She said it's not good for my ankle joints and I'll suffer when I'm old one day. Didn't work though...still cracking although I'm minimizing the damage by focusing more on my right ankle now.</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">Fast forward to today, I'm now a mummy with a little girl of my own who...... bites and chews her nails!!!! And it drives ME up the wall!! (Retribution?) </div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="background-color: yellow; text-align: justify;"><b style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Does your child have a bad habit? How do you stop that bad habit?</b></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://www.michaeltotten.com/archives/images/Girl%20Biting%20Nails%20Ramadi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://www.michaeltotten.com/archives/images/Girl%20Biting%20Nails%20Ramadi.jpg" width="133" /></a></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">There's a whole list of annoying/bad habits kids may somehow pick up:</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">1) Nose picking</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">2) Head banging/rolling</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">3) Body rocking</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">4) Teeth grinding @ <a href="http://kidshealth.org/parent/general/teeth/bruxism.html">bruxism</a></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">5) Hair twirling/pulling</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">6) Facial tics e.g. blinking eyes</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">7) Masturbation</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">8) Breath holding</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">9) Others </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_KgIqQvYUs3I/SxzxktaNJYI/AAAAAAAAUi8/2ojWly2Tepw/s1600/picking-nose-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_KgIqQvYUs3I/SxzxktaNJYI/AAAAAAAAUi8/2ojWly2Tepw/s200/picking-nose-1.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 9.5pt;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/badhabit.htm">How can I break my child's bad habit? </a></span> </span><br />
<ul style="background-color: white;" type="disc"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 9.5pt;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;">First try ignoring it as the child may outgrow it him/herself.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Praise your child for good behavior. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">It may be nearly impossible to stop the bad habit until the child becomes interested in stopping. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Start by focusing on one or two bothersome/harmful habits instead of too many at one time.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Try to figure out what may be making your child stressed.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Let your child make decisions whenever possible, by giving them acceptable choices. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Redirect your child and help them find a better place, or better way to do what they are trying to do e.g. use tissue instead of picking nose, or do it in the bathroom and wash hands afterward. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Use <a href="http://www.extension.iastate.edu/Publications/PM1547A.pdf">natural or logical consequences</a> for problem behavior. The purpose here is to get kids to make the right decision, not to bend them to your will. Be patient—it may take time for you to see results. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Be firm and kind. </span></li>
</span></ul><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 9.5pt;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 9.5pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Some habits are only annoying but <b>harmless</b> e.g. hair twirling. But some may be a <b>symptom</b> of a developmental condition (e.g. one of the signs of autism includes rocking of body back and forth) or psychological issues e.g. insecure, fearful of something, stress..etc. Others may <b>cause</b> <b>problems </b>instead e.g. teeth grinding may cause dental problems or disorder of jaw joint.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>So mamas, please share if you have experienced this before with your child and how did you manage to get him/her to stop that habit. For me, I tried positive reinforcement i.e. praising her when she doesn't bite her nails. So far, that seems to work although it is still too soon to tell if it has permanently stopped.</b></span><br />
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</span><br />
<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 9.5pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Carpe Diem</i>, ladies!</span></span></div><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 9.5pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">Becky</span></span></span></div><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 9.5pt;"></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div>Mad About Writinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17181591284969760340noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-517363622267430441.post-34348910506050409742010-07-07T02:07:00.000-07:002010-07-07T02:07:55.870-07:00I Do.....<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">By now, you may have noticed that I am alternating between child-related topics and marriage topics simply because as BB commented under <a href="http://carpediembecky.blogspot.com/2010/07/five-love-languages.html#comments">'Five Love Languages'</a>, <i>"the more loving you are as a couple...the better it'll be for ur kids as well".</i></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">Therefore I thought, what better way to be 'more loving' as a couple than to be reminded of our wedding vows - that first day when we became husband and wife? So I managed to obtain 3 versions from a local church pastor. These are the wedding vows commonly used for Christian marriages. However, I <b>welcome</b> women of different religions to share the wedding vows which you used.</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">1st version:</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><i>I, (Name), take you, (Name) to be my wife/husband,</i></div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><i>To have and to hold,</i></div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><i>From this day forward,</i></div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><i>For better, For worse,</i></div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><i>For richer, For poorer,</i></div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><i>In sickness and in health,</i></div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><i>To love and to cherish,</i></div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><i>Until we are parted by death,</i></div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><i>This is my solemn vow.</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.my-wedding-plan.net/wedding_vows.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="159" src="http://www.my-wedding-plan.net/wedding_vows.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">2nd version:</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><i>I take you, (Name) to be my wife/husband,</i></div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><i>and I promise before God and all who are present here,</i></div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><i>To be your loving and faithful wife/husband,</i></div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><i>As long as we both shall live,</i></div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><i>I will serve you with tenderness and respect,</i></div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><i>And encourage you to develop God's gifts in you.</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.lovelockweddings.co.uk/userimages/testimonialspage1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="http://www.lovelockweddings.co.uk/userimages/testimonialspage1.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;">3rd version:</div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><i>(Name), in the name of God,</i></div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><i>I take you to be my wife/husband from this time onward,</i></div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><i>To join with you and share all that is to come,</i></div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><i>To give and to receive,</i></div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><i>To speak and to listen,</i></div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><i>To inspire and to respond,</i></div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><i>And in all our lives together,</i></div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><i>To be loyal to you with my whole being,</i></div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><i style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">As long as we both shall live</i>.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.opentogod.org/images/Wedding%20Hands.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://www.opentogod.org/images/Wedding%20Hands.jpg" width="132" /></a></div><div style="color: #990000; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">(Source: The United Methodist Book of Worship, 1992)</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b>If you have made the above vows before and have forgotten them (like I have), why not take some time today after the kids have slept to renew that vow to each other?</b></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: justify;"><i>"To have and to hold, From this day forward ......"</i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: justify;"><i> </i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>Carpe Diem</i>, ladies!</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Becky</div>Mad About Writinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17181591284969760340noreply@blogger.com3