The Knight in Rusty Armour

IS chivalry sexist?” asked Mary Schneider, to which I answer wholeheartedly, “Heavens, NO!” (But Then Again, June 20)

If I may take it a step further, should one examine medieval literature, chivalry can be classified under three basic areas: duty to countrymen and fellow Christians, duty to God, and most commonly, duty to women, as addressed in Schneider’s article.

The last area is also known as courtly love chivalry. During the 11th century, a knight’s duty was to his own lady and after her, all ladies. He was supposed to exhibit a general gentleness and graciousness to all members of the fairer sex.

Even today, that is not an uncommon expression of affection when one is in courtship. When wooing their lady love, most men would go to great lengths to make her feel special, whether it is by opening the car door for her, carrying her heavy grocery bag or patiently walking with her as she window-shops at her favourite boutique. However, feminists like to argue against it.

But chivalrous treatment of the lady has been the norm for dating couples. It is very unlikely that a woman will retort fiercely to a man who has just pulled out the chair for her, “You benevolent sexist! I can do that myself! Remember I am your EQUAL!”

But what happens after the wedding bells have been rung and marital vows exchanged?

Instead of opening the car door for her upon arrival at their destination, the husband closes his own door and walks off. When once they used to walk hand in hand at the shopping mall, the man now strides two or three paces ahead while the woman has to play catch up. Although, to his credit, he does turn back once in a while to ask, “Can’t you walk faster?” Gone are the days when he would window-shop with her. His newspaper is his friend while he sits on the bench and gruffly tells his wife: “Go ahead, let me finish this article...”

Maybe not all men become less chivalrous after marriage, but most do slack in their courteous treatment towards their wives. This is from the horse’s mouth, by the way; my own husband would attest to it. If the above does not apply to you, I congratulate you.

So husbands, why not continue that chivalrous trend even after you’ve already captured your sweet maiden’s heart and hand? After all, surely your wife is still just as deserving, if not more so, of your gracious manners as when she was only your girlfriend. In all honesty, it still does make us feel very special.

(published 26th June 2011) Link: The Knight in Rusty Armour

Carpe Diem, everyone!

Becky