Dear Visitors to Carpe Diem Mamas,

During my hiatus from blogging, I have gone mainstream and have been writing on a regular basis to our national (Malaysian) newspaper, The Star, on various issues I feel strongly about. (Oh yes, just in case you're wondering if I get paid doing it, cos everybody keeps asking me that, -----I don't, as I'm not a columnist. It's just another platform for me to express my views.) I will be putting selected published articles here on the blog to share with all of you. Feel free to give your feedback.... unless it's derogatory or unkind, in which case I'll just spam you. Apart from that, you're most welcome to share your thoughts!

Thin does not mean pretty

I APPRECIATE Mary Schneider’s article, Fill her up!, especially the last line: “If only some parents would stop focusing so much on their children’s physical attributes, we’d have a lot more healthier adults on this planet.”

I have two daughters. The older, now six, was a beautiful, chubby baby and she retained her baby fat for a while.

However, due to swimming and dance lessons (which she loves, by the way), she gained some height and muscle tone.

It never occurred to me to do all this to make her “thinner” as I believe very much in making exercise a lifestyle.

What irked me though were parents (incidentally, more mothers than fathers) who came up to her and said, “Wow, you look so pretty now! So slim!”

I was aghast by that statement.

Firstly, I have been spending a lot of time telling my daughter that beauty is not dependent on how thin she is, but rather, her beauty should radiate from within, through her kindness, confidence and health.

I even highlighted the problem of anorexia nervosa in some girls who are obsessed with being thin, to the detriment of their own well-being.

Secondly, I have also been explaining to her that beauty comes in many forms, not just a particular shape, height or colour.

It broke my heart when she sometimes came up to me and told me her friend called her fat and that she didn’t think she is pretty.

Although I cannot control what other people say to my daughter, I hope that parents (especially mothers) will accept and appreciate the fact that their children do not have to adhere to Hollywood standards of superficial attractiveness to be beautiful.

(published 29th May, 2011) Thin does not mean pretty

Carpe Diem, everyone!

Becky