Surprise Addition

Today's post is dedicated to mamas with a surprise addition to the family. Like Ss, there are quite a few mothers with 2 or 3 (or more?) growing children who suddenly find themselves expecting another tiny bundle of joy. Of course, a new life is always a cause for celebration. The older siblings will welcome another brother/sister, grandparents get to spoil pamper another grandchild and depending on the age of the parents, there will be a younger child to keep them company when the older ones have left the nest in the future.

Challenges:

For today's mamas however, who have to balance work with family & home, the new arrival can also pose a challenge - emotionally, mentally & physically. It's one thing when you plan for it and anticipate a new family member. It's another thing when you miss your monthly cycle due to a miscalculation of dates and the red/blue line on the pregnancy test kit confirms your 'worst fears'! Some mothers find themselves feeling the blues as just when things are about to 'settle down', they are now going to start all over again; backaches, childbirth, sleepless nights, pacifying crying baby, diaper changing, toilet training..etc. Again, depending on what age the mother is, the 3rd or 4th pregnancy may be very exhausting as they also have to work, cook, do chores, take care of the older children--- hormonal changes may not really help either as Ss shared i.e. feeling sleepy and tired all the time. 

Depending on one's background and job, a new baby also poses great financial challenge. It's not just the hospital bills (if you go to private hospital) and the new baby items (if you've already given away most of them), it's also the savings one has to set aside for the child's education fund, medical insurance, vaccinations, preschool fees, tuition fees, music class fees, stationeries, toys, clothes (some can be passed down from the older siblings but won't you sympathize with your youngest one when everything he/she owns is either taped, tattered, dog-eared or patched together with old stains and smudges here and there?)...tertiary fees..etc. I think gone are the days when people used to give birth like rabbits and then left the children to fend for themselves.

For career mothers who halted or postponed their career plans and aspirations for children's sake, this may also be a cause for bringing on the blues. Suddenly, you find you may have to extend the postponement of your plans (again!). This is a great struggle for many when we feel that we can do or contribute so much more yet we are tied up with baby and childcare for a few more years (Not all would opt for a babysitter or send baby away to be cared for by a relative in another town).

Not to mention time distribution. With more children, time becomes even more valuable as mama has to divide time (hopefully equally) for her multiple children, each clamoring for her attention and help. I have only two, but when my baby was born and I spent a lot of time breastfeeding her, the older one felt left out as she wanted me to play with her like before when she was the only child. So, imagine having to cope with even more...

Of course, this is a phase and undoubtedly, older mums would probably advise "Oh, it's ok, you can handle it! I had 7 children and grandmother had 14 children, so 4 is nothing compared to what we went through!" (Familiar?)

So, I invite all mamas who have experienced or are experiencing this phase now to share. It doesn't make one a bad mother if one feels blue due to this surprise conception. We just need people to help us, encourage us and support us to get through it. If all else fails, hopefully, a dose of humour would cheer us up! Here's a link to Australian mama blogger, Karen Cheng's humorous take on having 3 children of her own (it was emailed to her by someone) :
Sometimes You Need To Laugh - The Evolution of Parenthood.

Carpe Diem, ladies!

Becky