When I was little, I had a few bad habits which drove my parents up the wall. Some, they managed to curb. One habit, however, still remained till today.
The habit which they managed to stop was thumb-sucking. Yes, I was a thumb-sucker for goodness-knows-how-long. I sucked my thumb to sleep and whenever I was not doing anything -- which was most of the time at a young age of 3 - 5, maybe? I don't remember.. I sucked till my thumb was misshapen, pale and wrinkly like a prune. I guess it got so bad that they had to 'force' me to stop by rubbing foul-smelling ointment on my thumb.
The other habit which I retained till today is 'cracking' my ankles, just like how you crack your knuckles. I could crack both ankles like castanets. One after the other. My mum used to scold me and cane my legs to make me stop. She said it's not good for my ankle joints and I'll suffer when I'm old one day. Didn't work though...still cracking although I'm minimizing the damage by focusing more on my right ankle now.
Fast forward to today, I'm now a mummy with a little girl of my own who...... bites and chews her nails!!!! And it drives ME up the wall!! (Retribution?)
Does your child have a bad habit? How do you stop that bad habit?
There's a whole list of annoying/bad habits kids may somehow pick up:
1) Nose picking
2) Head banging/rolling
3) Body rocking
4) Teeth grinding @ bruxism
5) Hair twirling/pulling
6) Facial tics e.g. blinking eyes
7) Masturbation
8) Breath holding
9) Others
- First try ignoring it as the child may outgrow it him/herself.
- Praise your child for good behavior.
- It may be nearly impossible to stop the bad habit until the child becomes interested in stopping.
- Start by focusing on one or two bothersome/harmful habits instead of too many at one time.
- Try to figure out what may be making your child stressed.
- Let your child make decisions whenever possible, by giving them acceptable choices.
- Redirect your child and help them find a better place, or better way to do what they are trying to do e.g. use tissue instead of picking nose, or do it in the bathroom and wash hands afterward.
- Use natural or logical consequences for problem behavior. The purpose here is to get kids to make the right decision, not to bend them to your will. Be patient—it may take time for you to see results.
- Be firm and kind.
Some habits are only annoying but harmless e.g. hair twirling. But some may be a symptom of a developmental condition (e.g. one of the signs of autism includes rocking of body back and forth) or psychological issues e.g. insecure, fearful of something, stress..etc. Others may cause problems instead e.g. teeth grinding may cause dental problems or disorder of jaw joint.
So mamas, please share if you have experienced this before with your child and how did you manage to get him/her to stop that habit. For me, I tried positive reinforcement i.e. praising her when she doesn't bite her nails. So far, that seems to work although it is still too soon to tell if it has permanently stopped.
So mamas, please share if you have experienced this before with your child and how did you manage to get him/her to stop that habit. For me, I tried positive reinforcement i.e. praising her when she doesn't bite her nails. So far, that seems to work although it is still too soon to tell if it has permanently stopped.
Carpe Diem, ladies!
Becky
16 comments:
Teeth grinding happen in sleep ... is it a bad habit? The kids don't even know they grind the teeth when they are sleeping. My daughter has this problem and causing a tooth cracked badly and has been to the dentist more than 5 times in a week because the fill keep on falling off and being grinded off. So, the dentist grind a little of the upper tooth which is a little sharp and it gets better.
sorry, should be more than 5 times in 2 weeks. but the dentist only charge us the 1st time. the followings, he didn't charge us.
Hmm.. I suppose it's not good when it causes negative effect to the child herself? e.g. dental problems/tooth cracking...
From what I read, kids do that when they're stressed/ teeth not properly aligned/response to other pain e.g. earache but apparently, no one really knows why it happens. Does ur daughter experience any of the above?
Anyway, kids are supposed to outgrow that eventually so I guess it's not a major cause for concern.
Does she still do it now?
Okay, what about biting? My boy sinks his teeth into everything. Books, he chews off the corners and the binding, toys, he bites off the labels, playpen, he bites a hole in the fabric, leather chairs got his teeth marks, highchair has scratches from his chewing, even my shoulder has scars from his fangs.
If there is anything that irks me most is his need to chew off any and every good book. Hard to want to leave him with a book to encourage reading activity.
So, how do i tell him to stop? I wonder what sparked it in the first place? He has a big appetite...maybe he's always thinking of eating? Or maybe it's his way of dealing with boredom.
Children between birth to two years are at a stage of exploration using all of their physical senses i.e touch, taste, smell..etc to make sense of the world around them.
If the child is past 3 years old and biting, that would be a cause for concern. If the child is 1 ++ and not able to speak yet, it's just a phase which he should grow out of once he's able to express himself verbally.
From what you described, it sounds like he is exploring or trying to see the cause and effect of his biting when he bites your shoulders. Or, he could still be in the midst of teething? and he wants to ease his itching gums?
Maybe instead of giving him things he shouldn't bite, try giving him things he can bite e.g. teething toy/Lamaze book/fabric book... should he get hold of things he shouldn't bite, say 'no' sternly while removing the object from him. After a few repetitions, he should get the message.
In the school where i taught last time, there was a little Japanese boy who loved to bite everything and everyone. When he bit his friends, we had no choice but to take him out of social situations for awhile. But when he grew older/more mature, the biting stopped.
Sometimes, it's also due to frustration as they are unable to express themselves verbally yet.
Meanwhile, be patient.. he'll outgrow it I'm sure. Then one day you can tell him, "Boy, you loved eating so much, mama had to let you snack on the couch while I cooked your lunch..."
:D
Note: Never bite him back if he should bite you or other people.
Hope that helps...
Ss: As far as I know, teeth grinding is a genetic trait. It's not related to stress etc as most people believe.
Sharon: biting on all things...he's teething is he not? but you are not aware of it. As a baby, the teeth are all in place and only come out at 5 months so if he is teething, signs of tooth/teeth irritation are biting on a lot of things.
Try putting some baby carrots in the freezer and then take it out and let him bite on that. If it really is teething, it will soothe his irritation. If he bites on books, etc, that's a no no and you have to break the habit otherwise he'll think it's okay. Make some fruit thin popsicles and see if that will help keep his mouth preoccupied.
My boy bites also and only started recently. He's 4-1/2 yrs old now. He started biting the blanket corner recently and the four corners are all torn. It was still perfect, no sign of torn before i go travelling in June. Not really sure what happen recently that he start to bite the corners. But before this, he'll put things into his mouth to bite too but not his blanket and also my mum's house sofa pillow (small square one).
Yesterday, he saw a very tiny crockroach came out from a toy car. He was so scared. I told him, "see it's because you bite the car last time and crockroach can smell and come". I reminded him of his blanket. He was so scared and ask me to wash his blanket immediate last night.
So, I think whenever I see him wanted to bite again ... I'll remind him of that tiny crockroach.
I seldom hear my girl grinding recently. Ya, I guess is a genetic trait as my husband say I sometimes grind my teeth during my sleep too and I also have the problem of tooth crack last time. My dentist friend told me that there's night gauge to help this problem but since my girl is so young, he don't think she need it.
Anyway, she'll ok now.
Ss: perhaps he misses you and is lonely for you...spend more time with him (quality and quantity) when you are not travelling...many times the responses and reactions of children are due to missing parent(s)
See if spending more time with him helps. Run an experiment to correlate whether his biting the corner of the blanket has anything to do with your time spent with him...this doesn't mean you can't travel but when you don't travel and are at home, do play, talk, go for walks or cycle with him so when you are gone, he has some wonderful memories to hold onto.
better yet, take photos of you and him doing things together and when you go travelling, you can ask him to look at it if and when he misses you and you can even give him a calendar to mark the days when you will be back...give him something to look forward to
Hmm, I think my boy will swallow the carrot whole if you put in his hand. I'll give the fruit popsicle a try tho.
He mite be teething, then again, he mite also do it out of habit and to curb his boredom. He still bites his big toe, till the skin is peeling off.
Sharon: ok, biting like that is most likely boredom. Fill his day with small activities (30 mins) and then to another one...
ie. morning, brush teeth, wash face, change diaper, change clothes....praise and encouragement him when completed (clap hands if you want to and shout hooray)
breakfast and get him to go wash hands (that's a great task if completed and he should be encouraged again)
colouring, puzzles, flip flap books (reading), singing, dancing, go for a walk, if you have gymboree, take him there, join a mother's group
let him play a bit and relax while you prepare his lunch
afternoon nap if needed otherwise other activities or just wind down time
if you need to go shopping, you can take him and engage him by (ie. he holds the bag and you put the fruits in)
night time is time with daddy...give it over to him while you wind down for the night
Anonymous : The travelling that i mentioned, is a family trip. My kids went with us to Shenzhen & Hong Kong. I don't have to travel for work. I accompany him to do his homework all the time as he doesn't want my mum to help. So, I'm actually spending a lot of time with him. Ya, he likes to cling to me, kiss me and hug me ... I mean a lot. Or is it my pregnancy making him insecure?
Ss: Don't think it's your pregnancy...boys tend to cling to mothers esp and want to be near them all the time....good for you for spending as much time with him as possible.
is the biting happening during family trips or at home also?
if trips, it could be he is not familiar to environment so doing something which he is comfortable doing...biting the blanket or biting is to ease his fear in strange new places.
don't worry..just love him, hug him, praise him, encourage him and one day, you'll see he'll grow out of biting blankets and even hugging you as much...enjoy it now as much as you can
He didn't bite during the trip. Only recently we notice not only the blanket torn, he also bite my mum's sofa square pillow. And my mum have to wash all the pillow. Then, we reminded him not to bite again, so he didn't bite the pillow anymore. Sometimes, he'll bite his jacket. Seems like he put into his mouth without realising until we call / shout at him.
I remember when I was young I have this habit of twisting the corners off tiny cushion covers till they frayed. Drove my mom up the wall, she tried cutting off the sharp corners into an oval and sew it shut by overlapping it. Did I ever break from this habit, not really....I just have a deeper appreciation to maintain nice things now. Besides, all that twisting gave me callous' on my fingers.
wow,Sharon, twisting can give your fingers callous? That's some serious twisting!
Anyway Ss: you were asking if your pregnancy might make your boy insecure. I'm not saying that is the cause of his habit but generally, when we are pregnant, the older child tend to be more clingy to us. E.g. my older girl (who is about 4 years older) started getting very attention seeking,baby-talking and tantrum-y towards my late pregnancy and when my baby was born. (Try asking others if they had similar experience) Probably because she has been the only child for a while and now she feels she has to compete for our attention. Your second boy is quite big already, right? He's been the youngest for awhile and now, he has to make room for another one.
I think the best person to gauge the reason behind his habit is yourself from your observation of him and his surroundings. Maybe try positive reinforcement i.e. praising him when he's not biting?
My two cents worth, what do you think?
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