One minute of peace and quiet.....
Baby girl hits sarong cradle and suffers brain damage
Say 'NO' to sarong buaian
Accident Prevention- KKH website
Sleeping in a sarong
My mother swears by it....
As with most old people, when I protested, my parents would say, "Hey, we brought you up in a 'sarong' and you turned out fine! What's the big deal?" (Em... Maybe my IQ could have been 20 points higher??)Having said that, the fact is when you leave your child in another person's care, it's difficult to control everything e.g what can/can't be done. My mother says she can't carry my baby (like we do) the whole time as she's old and prone to joint pain.
Would you put your baby in a 'sarong' knowing there are some risks involved? What do you think and what would experienced mothers advise?
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29 comments:
I do not use sarung buaian / hammock for safety reasons even though my MIL advised me to. I also insisted not to use a walker for the same reason. I'm known to be the rebellious one in the family haha. But I wonder if my son would nap and sleep better if I used a hammock. He naps poorly and I'm so exhausted and frustrated. Can't get anything done during the day!
Exactly how I feel!
What if we just rock gently and supervise the hammock (do our work nearby so it's within eyesight or better yet, right next to us)-- if anything happens we can prevent it?
Try bouncer.... I used that until he's about a year plus. Actually I have 2. One for him to sleep on, which was hand-made by my mother's friend (something like this http://www.langkawi-beaches.com/images/izzah-55.jpg) and the other one is like a chair with vibrator (http://lh6.ggpht.com/_r_z6e7kJfys/RzyUTp_nf2I/AAAAAAAAAF0/kgZ5-zE82lU/Baby+bouncer.jpg). When everything fails, try pacifier since babies loves to suck! Haha.. I know.. some are against that. But don't worry, my baby gave up his pacifier himself when he turned 1. :D
i use a sarong for his day naps because he sleeps longer and i could get more things done, right now even as i'm writing this he's fast asleep.
Although i heard of all the horror stories, the reality is that my boy has to be pat to sleep and as he is getting heavier and more squirmish (he has the strength of ten elephants) i cannot fight him to go to sleep all the time, and if he does not have his naps, he is moody, less alert, refuses to play or respond to anything.
So, i make sure i keep my eye on him, pad the floor with a mattress and not put the sarong so close to the wall if he bumps his head. Also, i'm there to take him out the minute he wakes up. That's the best i can think off.
Truthfully, it's more risky to put him on his mattress cos he tends to crawl / climb onto my bed and head for the hills even though we have fortified his bed area. Nothing can contain him.
So, what i do is sarong during the day and night, normal sleeping methods at night.
Both my kids use sarong at babysitter but not at home. I didn't get one at home because i also want them to get used to sleep on bed so that when we go travelling, they still can sleep without sarong. My girl stopped going there when she's 4 yrs old but my boy who's turning to 5 yrs still going and will still use sarong for his nap. But the babysitter will put the sofa cushion underneath. My boy is about 14kg already. If he follow me, without sarong, he won't take any nap unless he is really very tired.
I actually give them pacifier too. Another alternative to help them sleep. I only give them the pacifier when they want to sleep. I stopped my girl from using the pacifier at 2 yrs old and my boy since 1 yr old. Some parents are against pacifier but some kids will end up sucking their thumb which i think will be a bigger problem later. I choose the flat type and when they fall asleep, I'll pull it out.
These are really a little help that we could use to help them sleep. We can always stop them from using it at certain age.
Btw, I'm Ss here. I'll still click on Anonymous for this post. Still don't know how to post using my identity. Shall I click on Google Account? So, shall I sign up for google? Pls advise.
With my 1st and 2nd child, I used the sarong. Had to. I was staying at in laws house when they were younger and because hubby said no air con cause they should get used to not depending on air con, my inlaws put the sarong in the kitchen (we were staying in an apt unit) so they bolted two big big hooked nails to the ceiling and I rocked them to sleep. Oldest could sleep for 3 hours but 2nd child was getting 1 hour of sleep.
By the time 2nd child was 8 months, we moved to our own place and even then, it was sarong no no for him.
My oldest was the BEST in a sarong. She slept like an angel.
With 3rd baby, I didn't have any luck with her in the sarong. They managed to sleep 1/2 hour and then wake up crying. When she was a baby, she was the most high maintenance. I could get anything done. Sleep isn't her forte.
I think each child is different. With 3 in toll now, I can't say the sarong cradle is good or bad. You can see that each one took to it differently.
It depends on your mothering preferences.
But from my own experience, regardless of how much or little each of my children slept, I'm a sarong advocate. It's like us sleeping in a hammock. How many of you dream of having a day at the beach under coconut trees in a hammock.
With the sarong, you have to be close by to watch out. My little boy used to fall out of the sarong...hehehe but I was only a foot step away.
Night time sleep is different. There, I would say a good routine to wind them down is good.
Becky, try reading, playing, singing with Leia. Each child is different and need some winding down and if she wakes up after a little while, keep trying.
Regalmok...boys are like soooo different from girls. They are super active, visual beings who have a hard time settling down when they are babies and toddlers. My son is turning 11 and he sleeps soundly at night and even snores even tho he used to not want to sleep in the afternoons.
For the tired frustrated mothers, try the hammock. Your child might love it and then again, might not like it.
If anyone wants to borrow one, I have one. It's a standing one with wheels or if you don't want the wheels, just leave it out. It's purple so I hope the colour is alright.
SS, do u have gmail account? If you have one, u can use it. If you don't want to create an account (for google/any of those under OpenID), u can always use the Name/URL and fill in ur name...
I've just opened a yahoo account to join this blog. Does it work with yahoo? So, should I click on Open ID? I will need a step by step instruction .. ha ha ... seems like i'm the only who don't know how to use it.
Anonymous, I was blur blur in beginning also. Then realized I click mouse too fast for computer to catch up. Slowed down a bit and the Choose an identity pooped up. If you don't have google account, u can use yahoo and just type in NAME/URL.
All the best!
Hi Wheat Grass! Thanks for all your helpful tips and advice! If you know of other experienced mothers like yourself who'd like to contribute please invite them to join us ya?
By the way, may I borrow your sarong frame? I'd like to try it out and see if it works for my girl..
hey sugarapple, i have the bouncer chair--never thot of trying that to make her sleep ... well,whatever works!
Thanks for the tips sharon and Ss!!!!!1
Becky, sure I'll get it for you and pass it to you.
I emailed all my mother friends with kids young and in teens to sign up on the blog so they can share. Hope they do.
sigh, my boy needed to be breastfed to sleep at night until recently. We managed to feed him a little earlier so he's awake before bedtime. Unfortunately, he still wants to be carried to sleep-at least it's taking less and less longer for him to fall asleep. He's getting heavier by the day, so gotta sit down instead of walking around.
do let us know bout ur experience with the sarong-i guess the good thing is that you're aware of the precautions that need to be taken so safety issues are covered.
there are countless methods advocated in books to help babies go to sleep by themselves in their cots but it looks like the earlier u start, the higher the chance of success and the 'training' usually involves a fair bit of crying....
also, a fixed bedtime routine seems to be helpful
has anybody tried a gentle method without using 'props' like the pacifier, breast or sarong?
I used sarong for my son for a few months for his afternoon naps. I only rock him to sleep and once he is sleeping, I'll not rock anymore cos I dont want it to be a habit to be rocked all the time. However, it was just for a short period of time. I'm not very fond of sarong, not because of safety issue, more of not wanting it to be a habit to help babies go to sleep. And if they are too used to it, it will be difficult to get them to sleep when we're not home. I've never used the sarong for our girl. I know my MIL used to put small mattress below the sarong when she used it for my nephew.
I suppose we all have our preferences. Whichever way we use, it's a matter of balancing it. :)
laifchan, it's a good progress for Jason! Yes, training comes with crying. But I must say that the more they cry, the more tired they are, the easier and faster they fall asleep!! Having a warm bath before sleep also helps some babies to fall asleep easier. Try patting them on sideways to sleep. Warning: it may take quite some time for some babies to set a certain routine but for others it is much faster!
Regalmok and Laif:
my bb gal (now 9 mo) is used to sleeping at the breast ie falling asleep while breastfeeding since birth so it's pretty hard to break the cycle. she also naps the most 1/2hr about 2-3x a day only and is awake around 7am! she has her cereal in the morning and porridge for lunch and dinner around 7pm. when i get home and had my bath and dinner around 8.30pm, she starts to 'look' for me and want to BF. previously she'd feed till she's fallen asleep around 9.30pm but now she wakes up and want to play ...as hubby and i don't get to interact with her in the morning so we end up playing abit with her at night. as now she wouldnt fall asleep at the breast anymore, i hand her over to my mum (as i'm too tired and sleepy already) around 10 or 11pm for my mum to carry her and sing her to sleep.(she refuses to be carried to sleep by hubby although it was hubby who'd do this up to 2 months old) Once asleep, she's put back in her bot to sleep. She will then wake up again around 1 am for her feed and sleep in our bed till morning. she still gets up twice in the middle of the night crying (crescendo) until my nipple is put into her mouth... i dunno if she's hungry or just want the human pacifier. i have a colleague 7mo son who is BF at night and bottlefed during the day and refuses the synthetic pacifier /bottle when mum is back from work! another friend of mine tried introducing the sarong (at 5 months old )and failed! so it all depends on what your baby wants to accept...
at least now my baby sleeps for a few hours in her cot as previously she'd refused sleeping in her cot and only want to be held to sleep . each time put her down in her cot, was as if her back had sensor!! HAha!!
Hi AL, my babies are JUST like that too. As in both my elder girl and younger girl. Previously, my elder girl needed me to BF her to sleep which is the same with the 2nd one now.. I accept it as a natural thing and have even lost count how many times I wake up at night. After awhile, I don't even think about how tired I am anymore...just make do with the few hours of sleep..
lets take comfort that our precious ones love us a lot-well it does help 2 have 2 breasts!!!!
ya, my son practically leaps for joy into my arms if i happen 2 come back early on working days.
AL & becky, dunno how far its true, but apparently babies that don't need too nap very much especially during the day are thought to be 'smarter' coz they are more alert and stimulated by their enivironment...
Haha, laifchan .. that kinda contradicts with grandmothers' tales that a child should sleep more so they grow faster and become smarter? personally, i believe all children are born smart...the rest is determined by upbringing.
Thanks Becky. It's good to know that i'm not hte only one who BF their bb to sleep. i've been told off by a friend that i'm spoiling her. one more thing i'd like to ask, when bb awakes from her sleep her 1st reaction is to cry. i wonder if most babies are like this? she also cries when she's left alone in her cot despite her many toys without anyone being in the room. i dunno if this makes her dependent on us for attention...sigh
Hey Alicia, I don't think there's ever such a thing as spoiling a baby when we respond to them when they cry. That's how I've always responded to my eldest girl and she turned out great, pleasant, confident, obedient..etc
I'm guessing that those who say that is spoiling might subscribe to the cry it out method? Anyway, I believe babies should develop trust in us at an early age and that comes from us responding to their cries.
My two girls also cry when i put them in the cot. Sometimes it can't be helped as I have other things to do. Like my 2nd girl now, she prefers to crawl around and explore rather than confined inside the cot--even tho there are toys! and get this, she'd rather play with everything else BUT her toys!!! Go figure.. waste money only buying all these 'educational' toys for toddlers!
My girl also cries when she's left alone, I think simply because she feels secure when I'm with her. I'm fine with that. To me, it's just natural. If you have time to read my most recent post, babies are very attached to their parents until toddler age when they start to develop their own sense of 'self' and separate from us.
After sleeping, my girl would cry if i'm not near her. If i'm near her and she's slept well, then she's alright, as in won't cry..
but i believe that because of the sense of security developed when she was a baby (for my eldest now 4 yrs old), knowing that we will respond to her, she's cool doing things on her own-like now, i'm in the room and she's outside painting by herself, also, when I travel, she doesn't seem to miss me and when she's with my mum while both parents are out, she's also independent in playing by herself, bathing herself..etc. Also, when she started going to Sunday School, we only had to accompany her the first few times, after that, she's fine going on her own....
So, how is that for independence? i think parents only 'spoil' children when they indulge them at an older age
yup, i can identify with being told off for 'spoiling' the baby if he's carried too much.
i think there is no all or none law in this issue. Some people subscribe to the 'attachment parenting' school of thought which advocates being in touch with your child to promote security, confidence etc which i think are good principles. The other school of thought would be that don't get the baby too used to being carried, let them cry it out etc, not something that sits too comfortably with me if followed regimentally to 'train' a young baby.
I guess a balance needs to be found which depends on what both parents/carers are comfortable with and practical to be followed consistently (at least most of the time)
With my boy, he used to have to be carried most of the time, even to sleep when he was 2-3 mths, if not, he would cry. Now, he's happy if you are within sight even if he's left in the cot, although not for too long.
At night, he would go to bed after being carried (thank God for 10-15 mins once he begins to get drowsy)and sleep in his own cot. He'll still wake-up intermittently crying and will go back to sleep after being carried awhile or being breastfed. Then, he'll sleep more soundly if he's in between us in our bed.
For practical purposes since he's getting heavier and heavier and our attention is needed elsewhere, we're gradually trying to carry him less and less but with the assurance that we're still present (within sight or earshot).
I generally don't agree that attending to our child's needs (emotional plus physical) will spoil the child. However, I think we also should not feel guilty and beat ourselves up if we're unable to meet their needs 100% of the time.
I do notice that my boy tends to get stickier if i'm away for a longer period of time than the usual routine. Once the regular routine is back, he's alright.
I guess that when they're still infants, their attachment is still forming and security just developing. When they've developed physically as toddlers, they will gradually become more and more independent as they are able to explore things by themselves more independently.
While I'm pro-attachment parenting, I agree with laifchan about striking a balance. There are times when I need to go to the bathroom or cook and I put her in the cot. She would cry and scream (anybody who hears her might think she's abused..). Or, when I drive and she cries because she has to sit in the car seat. In those instances, I can't pick her up-for her own safety as well. In this case, I don't think this will cause her to feel insecure. My eldest girl went thru the same process, and after awhile, she would sit quietly in the car seat for example. they have to learn that there are times, we can't always attend to them and that it's dangerous esp. when cooking or driving.
If I carry her around the whole day or stop everything just because she cries, nothing gets done and my life would be at a stand still!
Balance, baby, balance...
Great post! I want to see a follow up on this topic???
Yours truly
Jami
thanks, Jami...
anything in particular you're keen to know more about?
The horror story happened like 1 compare to 10.000 baby. Accident happen all the time, like if there's a car accident, would it stop people using car? For a few thing, I prefer using traditional method. They are tested for centuries. While modern & scientific method keep changing every 10 or 20 years. 20 years ago, they told formula milk is better, and now, they told people that breastfeeding is better.
But every baby is unique and require different method. In my neighborhood, we put huge and soft pillow under the sarong cradlle, to minimize the risks. We don't swing the craddle really hard, just pull and push it gently. Sometimes, I let it swing by it self.
Wow… how old is everyone's baby by now? This was posted in 2010? My little bundle is now 8!
We survived the sarong/cradle and all the other uncertainties of babyhood. The next phase of their lives carry new challenges; friends, teachers, exams, busy schedule…
It seemed so long ago when sarong/cradle was a major concern…
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