Hold the SALT!

I once met a mother who complained that her mother-in-law put salt in her baby's porridge. The grandmother's justification was, "How to eat if no taste!"

Recently, I read an article in The Star (Less salt, please) that feeding babies food with salt is actually dangerous for the babies and can cause kidney, brain and liver damage!!! Gasp!! 

While most of us may not put actual salt in our babies' food, I think we should also lay off Bovril, soya sauce or other processed foods that may contain salt. If the recommended amount of salt per day for adults is only a teaspoon, what with our matured kidneys and all, it's a good idea to not give any at all to babies whose kidneys are not mature to filter the salt content in food. 

Did you know that...

a) babies' salt requirement is less than 1g a day?

b) requirement is already met through breast milk or formula? (Now, I understand why they label milk formula according to age e.g. 0-6 months, 6-12 months, 1-3 yrs old..etc)

c) baby formula shouldn't be too concentrated as it contains sodium/salt?

d) toddlers aged 1-3 yrs need only 0.8g sodium per day?

e) 1g of sodium (usually on food labels) is equivalent to 2.55g salt?

f) we should choose food with sodium content of no more than 0.1g sodium per 100g?

g) saltiness is an acquired taste? (which means, we can actually make do without it..)

But don't take my word for it, read also:

Can Babies have salt?

Can I put salt in my baby's food?

Why Adding Salt to Baby Food May be harmful
BBC News/UK/Warning after Salt Kills Baby
Baby Food Tips - Do's and Don'ts
Cow & Gate, Farley's Rusks

Hmm... I might need to reconsider giving her cheese now, since some cheese are pretty salty! I wonder if we might be endangering our babies' health without knowing........? Go all natural, people!

Potty Training - When, How, Which?

Sharon Chieng:

"Although my son is still too young to be potty trained, i would like to know how to get started when the time comes and what sort of potties are appropriate in terms of safety, easy cleaning and comfort.

I read somewhere that you can't force a toddler to potty train cause it might be traumatising, And if accidents do happen like they let go in their pants, how do you tell them without affecting their confidence that they need to do it in the loo?  

Currently i have a potty that looks something like this (Picture A):

The problem with this is that there are too many parts to fix and it's kinda light.

In the old days, a potty like this would suffice (Picture B);

But now you've got high-end inventions like this (Picture C):

The most common potty in the market looks like this (Picture D):

But i wonder would it be better to find those that attaches itself to the toilet so you don't have to bother with so much cleaning" ; (Picture E):

Why Kids are just Kids Pt. 2

Besides children's physical development, their behaviour is also affected by the various stages of emotional development they are in. I think this takes LOTS of patience and understanding on the parents' part because unlike the physical aspect of our child, we can't 'see' their emotional maturity. And sometimes it's trickier when a child may be more physically developed but emotionally, they're still immature. Hence, sometimes we may find ourselves yelling, "You are already 6 years old! Why are you still behaving like a baby?"

More excerpts from my book...

I will only focus on the 1st three stages of Erikson's stages of Emotional Development as majority of us have younger kids. You can read more from the links below.

Children's Behaviour is affected by their Emotional Development

Kindly refer to this link for Erik Erikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development

"We find Erikson's explanation of emotional development especially relevant to discipline issues. Understanding child behaviour in terms of the stages that Erikson describes can help us prevent discipline problems; this understanding can also guide intervention when problems do occur.... Theoretically, a child completes one stage and goes on to the next, but in actuality people seem to continue working on all previous stages as they proceed to the next.."

Trust vs. Mistrust (Birth - 18 months) [pg 27 & 28]

"About 50 years ago, parents were told that picking up babies when they cried would spoil them. Dutiful mothers and fathers fought their natural urges to respond to the cries of their infants. Instead, they attended to feeding and changing needs on a set schedule, to which the child was expected to conform. Remnants of this theory persists in American society today, threatening the healthy development of trust in infancy. Parents and caregivers need to know how important it is to respond to a baby's cries. Children's early efforts to communicate their needs deserve a response. Responsive adults are essential to a child's trust development.

- If a child's experiences lead to a lesson in mistrust rather than trust, that person's whole life can be affected.... Later in life, an inability to trust co-workers and the suspicion of spouses can undermine relationships. As relationships fail to withstand the pressure, a vicious cycle of self-fulfilling prophecy is perpetuated: ... they expect others to reject them, so they behave in ways that invite rejection."

Autonomy vs. Shame (18 months - 3 years old)[pg 29]

-Erikson's autonomy stage is the period when youngsters work at defining themselves as separate from the adults they have, until now, completely depended on...toddlers years are the time for development of autonomy..the toddlers suddenly begin to see that they are separate people, wih ideas and wills of their own. This period is known as the 'terrible twos' and can create serious discipline problems for the unwary adult. It doesn't necessarily disappear at age three, so beware. The formerly docile child suddenly says an emphatic 'NO!' to all your suggestions and tests the limits you set.

- (give children)..as many opportunities as possible to make decisions and choices. These opportunities not only help him feel proud of his independence, but they also help him cooperate during times when there is no choice. Children who routinely have a chance to exercise their personal power are more able to accept times when adults must make decisions. Conversely, children who don't get ample opportunity for making choices can be incredibly stubborn.

-When children do not develop emotional autonomy, they develop a sense of shame instead. Shame can be caused by their experiences with adults who don't understand what is happening when children assert themselves; these adults think that their job is to stamp out 'naughtiness'.. As a result, children develop feelings of shame about the natural urges of independence."

Initiative vs. Guilt (3 - 5 years old)[pg 31 & 32]

"Most preschool children are in this stage. You will see them further testing their individual powers and abilities. Their physical and intellectual abilities are increasing rapidly as they joyfully try out new skills..Developmental tasks now include the need to participate in real work"

[It is at this stage that my girl takes the initiative to create her own play situations. She asks a lot of 'why' questions and wants to participate in 'adult' work e.g. sweeping, wiping, vacuuming... Most times I let her do so, but when my 2nd one was born, things got a bit stressful. Once, the baby cried and she tried to help but I shoved her aside asking her not to touch the baby - I was afraid she might accidentally hurt the infant. She cried,not comprehending why when she wanted to help she was scolded instead (resulting in feelings of guilt that she didn't understand). My bad! Sometimes, we adults tend to hurry kids along and not let them take the initiative to do things e.g. pour juice, wash dishes.. When we were younger, adults would scold us 'kepo' when we tried to help; "Don't you be 'kepo'!" .]

Anyway, the point of my sharing the above info is to boost our understanding of why kids behave the way they do e.g. suddenly saying 'no' to everything, asking 'why' repeatedly, wanting to do things by themselves (sometimes causing a big MESS), sometimes clinging to us, sometimes pushing us away... hopefully, we understand that our kids are not being 'bad' or disobedient or 'naughty'... they're just, well, KIDS!

So dear mamas, do you think the above information is helpful in understanding your child better? Do you think it will help us to reconsider our choice of words and disciplinary actions? How does the above explain why WE (the adults) have become who we are today?

Check out also:
Who was Erik Erikson?
Stages of Social-Emotional Development in Children and Teenagers
Erik Erikson's Psychosocial Theory
Smart Love


Carpe Diem, ladies!
Becky

Why Kids are just Kids Pt. 1

[Note: FYI, I wasn't able to put up an entry on Friday due to disruption of Internet services (rumored to continue till 2nd May- so what's new in Malaysia, right?). Apologies!]

Today, I thought I'd like to share some excerpts I came across in my book, 'Constructive Guidance and Discipline' by Marjorie V. Fields and Cindy Boesser about what affects children's behaviour simply because:

"Knowledge of child development will help you to understand when inappropriate behaviour occurs because a child is working on a developmental task and does not mean to be 'naughty' at all..."  

I hope it will also help us as parents to have realistic expectations of our children so we don't end up punishing them out of our own ignorance.

Children's Behaviour is affected by their Physical Development 

1. Need to move around (pg. 23 & 24)

[In other words, it is unrealistic of us adults to expect our kids to sit quietly all the way through a story telling session that has gone overtime, never mind a 2 - 3 hours long wedding dinner/church sermon/mama's shopping trip...]  

2. Small Muscle Coordination takes time (pg. 24)

- "Not only do young children have a need to exercise their large muscles regularly, but they are also not very adept yet at small-muscle work. It is a fact of physical development that fine motor coordination (e.g. writing, buttoning, lacing) lags behind gross motor coordination (e.g. running, walking, jumping)...
- Placing pressure on these children to perform above their current level of development will result in frustration and feelings of failure. Negative behaviours will surely follow. Matching your expectations to the children's abilities will avert some potential discipline struggles.." 
[I remember when I first got my girl to start tracing letters - simply because her new school expects children to be able to write independently by 4 years old - she started out enthusiastic at first, but after I kept correcting her, getting her to hold her pencil properly, erasing her scribbles that were not in line..etc, she got so frustrated she refused to write. Then I got upset with her and felt she was not 'listening to me'.. In actual fact, she just wasn't ready]
 
3. Need for Food and Rest (pg. 24 & 25)
- "Young children also have a need for adequate food and rest in order to work and play cooperatively...Children need these energy boosters at more frequent intervals than adults do."
[Sometimes, my girl can get so unreasonable and be very demanding esp. after morning school. I used to get angry with her but now, knowing she needs to nap, I would make milk for her and put her to sleep.. once she wakes up, she's a happy camper!]

Check out also:
How to Discipline a Child According to Age

Early Childhood Physical Development
Child Behaviour, Self Esteem, Values and Physical Development
Behaviour Management Plans for Children

Carpe Diem, ladies

To Spank or not To Spank

 ( Note: I was informed by one of the members that she has been receiving notification for new entries, but after checking, discovered there was none. If you've been experiencing this, my apologies! Everytime I draft a new entry, I'll publish it just to see what the end result looks like-- I wasn't aware it might be clogging your email box! So, I can assure you it won't happen again, ya? Please give me your feedback every now and then so such 'annoyances' don't occur. Thanks!)
 
When my eldest girl was born, I was a very idealistic mama. I wanted to do EVERYTHING right and by the book. So when it comes to discipline and behaviour management, I did not want to resort to the Asian staple - the rattan. So, other methods e.g. positive & negative reinforcements, time-out, plenty of reasoning & communicating at her eye level, a lot of hugs and kisses..etc worked for me---right until between the ages of 3 to 4...and still counting..

Suddenly, my angel took on a Jekyll and Hyde persona. Most times, she could be super-sweet that she would melt your heart. And I thank the Almighty I'm the blessed mother of such a loving child. Other times, she made me wish I had a remote control so I could put her in 'pause' mode while I cool down. 

One case scenario: She wanted ice-cream before lunch, I said no as it would spoil her appetite, she started whining, I was firm. Then, it started.. she screamed, wailed, kicked, shook her body like jelly, crying, "I want, I want, I want!!!!!" all the way, from the car park, across the playground, past the gym (we live in an apartment), the lobby, all the way in the elevator right up to 11th floor, out of the elevator, in the hallway, in our room... My reasoning fell on deaf ears, she wouldn't sit in the chair for time-out, ignoring her only made her scream louder...

Now, dear mamas, if your child were to behave that way, what would you have done?

If all else fails, and if I think that my child needs a spanking, I adhere to the following ground rules:

Do:

1) Use that as a last resort

2) Make sure I am calm and of sound mind i.e. not in a blind rage!

3) Explain to the child why her action warranted such a measure before and after it's executed. Always make up after that. Remind her I still love her.

4) Keep it relevant - it should immediately follow the undesirable behaviour, not 3 hours later, so my child can relate the action to the consequences.

5) Short & Sweet - I think the first sting of pain is sufficient to drive home the message

Don't:

1) Spank in public - I want to address the behaviour, not humiliate or scar my child even if it is in front of her siblings.

2) Vent - I'm not taking out my frustration on  my child and then calling it 'discipline'

3) Hurt her - I don't want to injure her by using anything with a barbed or sharp end e.g. a branch, a belt buckle, clothes hanger

4) Correct mistakes with it - I reserve spanking for actions which she knows she shouldn't commit, I don't use it to punish mistakes e.g. writing/spelling/reading/not getting A's, spilling, breaking something or anything else that is accidental

5) Overdo it - in everything, moderation is the key. I don't want this to damage our relationship or have my child distance herself from me.

What do I use?

Honestly, I don't have a rattan. I use a wooden spatula. The flat end just causes a slight sting, not scars.

Pros

I think it is effective at first.

Cons

-Not so effective after a long time unless I hit harder or more, which I don't want to do. 

-Also, my child will start to imitate me by either hitting me or her sibling, which again is something I do not want. How do you explain to her Mummy can hit you but you cannot hit Mummy? 

So, mamas what do you think? Is there anyway we can bring up our kids without spanking? And will they turn out alright ? Or do you believe spanking is necessary sometimes?

At the end of the day, bear in mind that your child was once like this: an innocent baby, a sweet and loving child... and we want only the best for him/her...

 We just don't want them to turn out like this: 

(Most of the views expressed here are my own...)




Carpe Diem, ladies!
becky

Balancing Breastfeeding/Expressing with Work Pt. 3

laifchan:

So, you’re approaching the end of your maternity leave and wondering whether you can cope with breastfeeding while working from 9-5 at your office.

Yup, it’s possible, even if you have to travel outstation for a stretch-just ensure your freezer is well-stocked with milk.

Managed to survive a 3-day trip in Penang (with baby) and Sepang (without baby).

Things you’ll need:

Breast-pump.

There are many good brands in the market. I am using the electric Medela Pump-In-Style handed down from my cousin. I like it because its very efficient- just plug it into a power source and both sides are done simultaneously in 10-15mins. With practice, you can pump with one hand free to read magazines, surf the net etc…

Storage and sterilizing paraphernalia

Initially, I used glass milk bottles (Pigeon) solely and stored enough for 1 feed in each bottle for convenient warming-up and feeding.

I started to use pre-sterilized disposable zip-lock storage bags (Autumnz) when I ran out of bottles (supply exceeded demand).

At first, I lugged the big Coleman ice-box everywhere coz the small storage bag that came with the pump could only fit 4-ounce bottles upright and I was filling-up 6-7 ounces on the left side. Later, I got a bigger traveling storage bag that could fit six 8-ounce bottles.

Freezer (The mini-bars in hotels are usually not cold enough to store >24 hours. I had to ‘tumpang’ the resort/hotels kitchen freezer)

Ice-packs. (One may be enough just to keep the milk cold but may not be adequate if you have more than 1-2 small bottles that needs to stay frozen)

I sterilize at work by pouring hot boiling water, not keen to lug my steam-sterilizer to and fro work. Some good hotels provide steam-sterilizers on request. (Of course, you can use sterilizing tablets but personally, I’m not too keen on using chemicals).

Privacy

Privacy is tricky if you don’t have your own room to express at work. It’s pretty sad when the only place available is the toilet! Directly breastfeeding in public places and on the go is made easier with a baby sling/breastfeeding ponchos or strategically placed cloth-nappies. Any ideas on how to get advocacy work going to make work and public places more breastfeeding friendly?

(becky: For mothers based in Kuching, there are breastfeeding ponchos/nursing shawls available in Poppies, the Spring. You can also check out eBay Malaysia) 

(...by the way, I don't get paid for the above 'advertisement'...)

Good nutrition
This is to ensure good quality and quantity of milk. I’m not good at taking dairy products so I do take Calcium supplements. Somehow, grandma’s recipe of papaya (unripe)and pork ribs/fish soup does seem to help with ensuring the milk doesn’t dry-up. Also, pork-trotters in vinegar supposedly improves calcium absorption.

A relaxed mood
Not easy when you’re rushing to meet deadlines!

Tons of support
Can’t over-emphasise this, so do share your successes and challenges.  :)
Anyone with experience using electric warmers, especially the ones that can be used in the car (battery-operated, I suppose?). I’ve been surviving with a thermo-pot at home for hot water. When I’m traveling, it’s either the flask or a pit-stop for hot water.


The contents of this blog are for informational purposes only. The content is not designed to be a substitute for professional medical consultation.

'Sarong' cradle-- Good/Bad?

 My little girl is now fast approaching 9 months old, and she refuses to sleep! She needs to be breastfed to sleep and once I leave her side, she would suddenly roll over and stand up again! So, she hardly naps in the morning and afternoon which makes me exhausted! Forget about personal time, forget about getting some paperwork done! The little Energizer bunny would come and rip my papers even though a minute ago, she seemed fast asleep.

One minute of peace and quiet.....

So, my mother keeps pestering me to get a 'sarong' saying that it's easier to put her to sleep and to keep her asleep.. I'm a bit apprehensive about that (although on bad days, I'm super tempted to buy one!).. Simply because of the horror stories I read e.g. check out links below:

Baby girl hits sarong cradle and suffers brain damage
Say 'NO' to sarong buaian
Accident Prevention- KKH website
Sleeping in a sarong

My mother swears by it....

As with most old people, when I protested,  my parents would say, "Hey, we brought you up in a 'sarong' and you turned out fine! What's the big deal?" (Em... Maybe my IQ could have been 20 points higher??)

Having said that, the fact is when you leave your child in another person's care, it's difficult to control everything e.g what can/can't be done. My mother says she can't carry my baby (like we do) the whole time as she's old and prone to joint pain.

Would you put your baby in a 'sarong' knowing there are some risks involved? What do you think and what would experienced mothers advise?

The contents of this blog are for informational purposes only. The content is not designed to be a substitute for professional medical consultation.

Balancing Breastfeeding/Expressing with Work (Pt. 2)

Today's entry was actually intended as a comment for Friday's entry, but since it's so comprehensive and it's by a medical professional mother who's been-there-done-it, I decided to make it the 2nd part of this extensive topic:

laifchan:

"Yup, breastfeeding definitely trumps formula hands-down.

Having said that, mums who choose not to breastfeed exclusively or partially for whatever reason don’t have to be weighed down by guilt.

I think that balancing the benefits of breastfeeding with the general well-being of the mother is an important aspect. After all, your precious one’s healthy development and attachment is a life-long process that is not confined to just breastfeeding.

I wish that people around me had been more candid about the challenges of breastfeeding and instead of saying ‘aiya, if I told u all these than u wouldn’t breastfeed-mah!’

So here’s what I learned from my past 6 mths of exclusive breastfeeding:

1. Be prepared, especially if you have only 2 months of maternity leave (we’ll talk about advocating breast-feeding friendliness at work later)

• books are a good source of information. The one I used was pretty good and came with illustrations and an easy to use index: What To Expect The 1st Year by Heidi Murkoff (http://books.simonandschuster.co.uk/What-To-Expect-The-1st-Year-rev-Edition/Heidi-Murkoff/WHAT-TO-EXPECT/9780743231886)
• videos on step-by step ways to latch-on your baby and the various positions (you can still breastfeed in the football position after a C-section) are available on youtube, just make sure they are done by proper lactation experts: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qjs_uQ8PCHw
• talk to friends and relatives who have experienced breastfeeding – my family was a great source of support and encouragement. Also, you’d realize that your decision to breastfeed will involve lifestyle changes to your family, esp hubby J
• professional help is available in the form of lactation experts (nurse, paediatrician, obstetrician) – check with your obstetrician on who is available for consultation at your clinic/hospital.
• start to stock-up on expressed milk before going back to work to ensure continuous supply. I was semi-freaking out when I couldn’t pump fast enough to stock-up as my little one was on the breast almost hourly for the first 2 months-more on how it worked-out later.

2. Be flexible

• planning ahead is great but don’t beat yourself up too much if your carefully constructed plans don’t happen because being too stressed-out drastically reduces milk supply and takes the joy out of breastfeeding!

3. Prevention is better than cure

• to reduce the risk of cracked nipples and mastitis, protect your nipples by ensuring that your baby latches on and off properly (available in afore-mentioned books and videos) and reduce friction on nipples. I found Bepanthen cream very useful when applied after each feed, its activated vit B so no need to wipe-off, pretty safe if ingested by baby-its also great for preventing nappy rash. A bit of expressed milk smeared on the nipples and then air-dried also helps.
• mastitis is not the end of the world- Early medical treatment is effective to prevent complications and you will still be able to continue breastfeeding.

4. Don’t give-up-life does get better

• every baby and mummy is unique, so its difficult to have a formula on how often to feed the baby and for how long. The basic principle is feed on demand and a sign that he/she is fed enough is when they pass adequate amounts of stools and urine in between feeds.  Crying is a late sign of hunger, the baby usually will start smacking the lips or rooting for the nipple first.
• a common frustration is when there doesn’t seem to be enough milk-that’s why its important to keep feeding on demand as the more the baby sucks, the more your milk production is stimulated. Try to start as soon as possible after delivery. The nurse’s response after I asked for my baby to start breastfeeding straight-away: ‘Aiya, wait-lah, have 2 clean-you up first and all the mess here!’ This despite a big fat poster in the labour room that screamed: Thousands of babies lives saved by breastfeeding within the 1^st hour!
• colostrum in the first few days is sufficient for a healthy baby with a normal weight even though the amount is small-you may hardly feel the colostrum coming out.
• The actual milk comes on day 3-5 onwards and is rather painful due to engorgement-somehow cabbage worked best for me but just don’t overdo it coz it reduces the milk-flow somewhat.
• yes, its exhausting to breastfeed round the clock so support is crucial ie hubby helping with night-time feeding and diaper-changing. Some mums find it less exhausting to start expressing early so that someone else can take turns feeding expressed milk in a bottle-tricky to say how early as they may get used to the bottle and refuse the breast! For me, it was practical to start getting my son used to the bottle when I was about to start work. Also, grab the chance to catch 40 winks when the baby is asleep.
• frequent nite-feeds are tiring coz breast-milk is easily digested hence the tummy gets empty fast! take heart, as time goes by, they suck more efficiently and the hours between feeds gets longer and longer and when they start semi-solids, they will gradually learn to sleep through the night. Some mummies find it helpful to use the lying-down position to get some rest, just be careful to position the baby properly so he/she doesn’t get crushed/suffocated.
• some women like yours truly are more prone to blocked ducts (very painful-a quadrant of your breast becomes rock-solid and the baby can’t suck the milk out from that part) so try to ensure that the baby manages to suck from the whole breast evenly to prevent accumulation in 1 area of the breast-changing feeding positions and gentle massage helps (don’t overdo it as a break in your skin may set the route for infection and mastitis)

5. Some is better than none

• Don’t be too hard on yourself. If despite trying your best and you’re at your wits end trying to keep sane, supplementing with formula does not make you a bad mother. Your physical and emotional well-being is important to ensure that you can continue caring for your baby effectively. With perseverance, some mums still manage to exclusively breastfeed a bit later when they are in a better state of mind emotionally and physically.

Hopefully this is helpful-more on breastfeeding while working full-time later……."

 

The contents of this blog are for informational purposes only. The content is not designed to be a substitute for professional medical consultation.

 

Chinese School Dilemma

I mentioned about balancing our lives. But currently, here's one issue which I find particularly challenging to strike a healthy balance: Children's education as it SHOULD be (theoretically) and as it IS now.

Theoretically speaking, experts (e.g. Montessori, Piaget, Froebel) have unanimously concluded that children's learning is effective when it is :

1) DAP - Developmentally Appropriate to their age and stage of development

2) Through PLAY - They learn best when they explore, solve problems, create, manipulate and assimilate new information into existing ones in their mind.

3) Holistic - The programme takes into account a child's physical, emotional, social, cognitive, creative development... 

4) Not forced - children do not learn effectively out of FEAR or COMPULSION

How ideal if all kids can play and learn like in the pic.

Here's the problem, in Kuching, I can't find a preschool like that! In fact, the two MOST popular preschools are highly academic and they even conduct spelling tests for English and Bahasa Malaysia as well as Mandarin dictation. That is besides the homework given every alternate days and MORE during weekends and holidays. (The teacher there informed me I'm the ONLY parent who complained about TOO MUCH homework!)

Here's a list of Chinese characters my girl has to be able to recognize by next week. I nearly fainted. I don't even recognize some of them!!(Apologies, my Mandarin Teacher!)

And why? No. 1 reason: "If not, how can they cope in Primary One esp. in Chinese School!!!!?"

Hence the dilemma:

If my child goes through a preschool programme that experts advocate, she'll take longer to catch up in Chinese education system. So she might get labeled, fall behind, punished..bla, bla, bla

Now that my child is in a preschool programme just so she can catch up in Chinese school, I think she is less outspoken, doesn't like school, we have less time for fun stuff e.g. swimming, and every weekend is just a race to complete writing work, writing and more writing!!! AAAAaaaargh!

The trend in Kuching now (and I think in most parts of Malaysia) is sending children to Chinese school. Even though the parents themselves are bananas (illiterate in Mandarin) or grew up in an overseas country. 

Why Chinese schools? Common reasons:"China is the next global economic superpower/ Extra language is always an advantage/ Discipline/ Hey, I went to Chinese school and I turned out fine!"

One mother is adamant her preschool children be given as much academic work as possible. She said, "Don't worry, children will cope!"

But I want her to do more than just COPE.. I want her to FLOURISH and ENJOY the learning experience. It is common knowledge Chinese schools' environment hardly encourages that. 


So maybe you'll say, "So.. don't send to Chinese school then. What's the biggie?"

The biggie is, somehow it ain't right when you watch Astro's  Mandarin channel and you see Caucasians, Africans, Indians, Middle Easterners..etc DEBATING in perfect Beijing Mandarin and you're going, "Ah, er, wo-bu-hui-jiang-hua-yi.. Cakap Melayu, boleh?"   (Chinese to Chinese............just so wrong!)

Question:

Am I too idealistic?

Can mothers out there advise? Especially those who are 'bananas' like me?

Do your children flourish well in Chinese schools?
Do they become introverts after that?

Do they drag their feet to school?
What's the schooling trend in West M'sia?

For newer mothers, it never hurts to think and plan ahead! Meanwhile, 'xcuuuuuuse me, gotta go do some homework now.........

Carpe Diem, ladies!
Becky

Balancing Breastfeeding/Expressing with Work

Just a thought on breastfeeding. Isn't it nice if it is as blissful as painted in the picture below: A new mother (somehow still looking so beautiful and glowing), smiling and cradling her newborn. The newborn doesn't fight her nipple. She has latched on perfectly, sucking peacefully..No pain, no discomfort., no problems..Sigh, well, what a load of ...................gross, erroneous misrepresentation of reality! Anyone who has ever breastfed will tell you it's not like that at all for the first 1 and a half weeks. Agree?? In fact, I never knew tears of pain until I breastfed...... The reality is:

1) Breastfeeding is painful for 1-2weeks. You may not have sore or cracked nipples, infection, thrush, mastitis..etc.. It just hurts.
2) The newborn may experience nipple confusion due to their stay in private hospitals where nurses feed them with bottles. So when blissful mama tries to breastfeed, the baby screeeeeeeams or fights your nipple.
3) May be stressful as prior to your milk coming in, your own mother or mother in law would be asking "Got milk? Got milk? No milk! Quickly! Go buy milk powder!" when all you want is to give your baby the best nature and God has given you.

But hang in there... persevere and persist! After that, breastfeeding will be a breeze!

Anyway, unless you're a full-time, stay-at-home mum, it's hard to just breastfeed directly.. so most of us have to balance work with expressing and storing our milk for our young ones. I think this is one of the most challenging part of mothering--ensuring your baby gets breastmilk while fulfilling work obligations.

So, how to go about it? Be forewarned -- unlike the picture above, I'm telling you the FACTS: it's NOT easy, it's actually VERY troublesome, it takes GREAT effort, we need a LOT of support and understanding from people around us ...BUT! The rewards are great, and your young one deserves the best after all...that alone is a good enough reason.

How I did it:
When I was still teaching (after giving birth to my first girl), I expressed my milk every 2 hours, starting from 6am. First expression in the morning, I could fill up 8 ounces. After that, each time, I could express 4 ounces. So, at work from 8am - 6pm, I could express roughly 24 ounces. I was lucky because I could store my milk in the school's fridge and thank goodness, my colleagues then helped me out with classes. They had to replace me everytime I disappeared to pump milk. Then, at home, I continued breastfeeding.

For my 2nd girl, I had even more milk!! However, it's more challenging to express diligently as there's an older child to care for, chores, work, hubby... By her first month, I was expressing 13 ounces early in the morning, then an average of 6 ounces every 2 hours. Eventually, I had to cut the frequency down to every 4 hours, averaging 9-10 ounces each time. And this is besides breastfeeding directly as well. Now that she's 8 months old and eating semi solids, I express once or twice a day. Of course by now, since I cut down so much , my supply has decreased a lot. Check out the difference:

Then, (daughter 4 months old) after 1 day of expressing:Now, (daughter 8 months old) after 1 day:One. Small. Lonely. Bottle.

Here's my trusty breast pump: AVENT manual hand pump

Now, calling all breastfeeding, expressing-while-working and exclusively pumping mums, please share with us how you handled this balancing act. How do you balance doing all that while working in the office or at home (Housework is still WORK!), or when taking care of your other kids+hubby.. Please share to inspire and encourage new mums or mums-to-be ya?

Carpe Diem, ladies!
Becky










The contents of this blog are for informational purposes only. The content is not designed to be a substitute for professional medical consultation.

First Foods

laifchan started the ball rolling with semi solids for her 6 month old son. Apparently, after feeding him rice porridge, he constipated! Why is that? Something to do with rice starch?

For my 8 month old, I've been blending potatoes with pumpkin/broccoli/carrots and for fortified goodness, breast milk as well. I also scrape half an apple to give her the mushy flesh. She loves the natural sweetness of fruits. And if constipation is a problem, mashed papayas and bananas work like a dream!! Try it, laifchan!

Speaking of which, this is the thanks I got for my hard work:

Siiiiiiiiighhhhhh....... :(


I have another question: Has anybody tried those commercial baby food from supermarkets? Does your child like it? I tried once myself (potato and chicken--I forgot which brand) and I thought it was disgusting! But maybe there are others that are better? Do they add preservatives or additives? Is it really 'natural', so they claim?

Carpe Diem, ladies!
Becky




The contents of this blog are for informational purposes only. The content is not designed to be a substitute for professional medical consultation.

Let's Get It Started!

This is how it will work: every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I'll introduce a new topic for discussion. Please contribute your views, opinions, questions, suggestions..etc. To help us get acquainted, do introduce yourself by:

1) Name (you may also use pseudonym)
2)Occupation (so we can consult you on your area of expertise!!)
3)Number of children you have and age (you may use pseudonym instead of their names)
[If you want to be cautious, you can choose to not reveal your workplace, address, children's schools and other too personal details]

None of the above are mandatory, but it would be nice to know how diverse we are, right? Let's also welcome every newcomer heartily to our group!

Carpe Diem, ladies!
Becky

Carpe Diem, Mamas!

Hello and welcome to Carpe Diem Mamas!

This blog is created as a support group for all mothers, experienced or new, stay-at-home or working mums, who just do not have the time (or whatever reason...in fact, other reasons don't really matter cause they all tie back to time anyway) to be present physically at your community's mothers' group. However, we still need support, fellow mothers who understand our daily challenges and experienced mothers who can also impart wisdom to new mothers.

I chose Carpe Diem Mamas to remind us to seize every precious moment of everyday- cherish your children's growing years, treasure our roles as mother/teacher/comforter/diaper-changer/peace-maker..etc, and to grab every opportunity to do something new; wall-climbing, knit, public-speaking, cook Japanese, bake a cake, triathlon-racing..the sky's the limit!!! Share with us how you balance your life to the fullest!

Who can be a member?
Mothers or mothers-to-be. It doesn't matter if you're mother of 1 or mother of 10.

What can you contribute?
Your questions, your answers, your sharing on our latest topic.

What else?
Eventually, we'll start a 'Too-Good-To-Throw' (TGTT) segment where members can either pass down their baby items to fellow members or sell at a discounted price once their children have outgrown it.

We're open to new ideas and possibilities. So, pass the word around and we look forward to have you joining us!




Love,
A Carpe Diem Mama - Becky

Disclaimer: Please take note however that the content of this blog is for informational purposes only. It is not meant nor designed to be a substitute for professional medical consultation. While all attempts have been made to verify the information provided, Carpe Diem Mamas does not assume any responsibility for errors, omissions or contrary interpretation of the subject matter herein. As such, readers use any advice/information/tips/suggestions at their own risk.